


Fox Daycare

by PalmettoFoxDen



Series: Fox Daycare & Extras [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daycare, And Erik shows up later, Gen, Kid Fic, M/M, Most of the Foxes are kids, The age difference is different so the twins are kids when Nicky takes them in, The other Foxes are there but the main focus is on Nicky and the twins as a family, The twins are in grade one and Nicky is doing his best to look after them and get by, Wymack runs the daycare and Nicky works there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-19 09:21:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 43,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13701564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PalmettoFoxDen/pseuds/PalmettoFoxDen
Summary: After his son was injured at Edgar Allan Daycare, Wymack opens up Fox Daycare for his son and the kids who can't get in anywhere else. When Nicky takes in his little cousins after their mother's death, he needs somewhere to leave them while he is working. Wymack offers to let the twins into Fox Daycare for free if Nicky works there. Nicky is still trying to figure out how to look after the twins and how to help them after all that they have been through, but at least he has Wymack to help him out.





	1. Chapter 1

Nicky was running late because he slept through his alarm _again_ after working late at his other job _again_. He really didn’t have time to try to convince them to get ready, but at the rate they were moving they were going to be lucky if they were only a few minutes late. Nicky couldn’t really blame them though. The twins were tired too because of how late he had picked them up from Wymack's apartment after his dishwashing shift last night.

David Wymack was technically Nicky's boss, but somehow he had also become his babysitter when he needed someone to watch the twins later than daycare ran. Wymack ran the daycare and was the reason Nicky had a job there. He was also the reason Nicky was able to work his other job. Truth be told, Nicky didn't think he and the twins would be able to stay afloat if it weren't for all of Wymack's help.

Nicky hadn't gone to Wymack looking for a job. He had gone to the Fox Daycare when he was struggling to get the twins into any daycare he could. The Edgar Allan Daycare had actually laughed in his face when he had asked how long their waitlist was. He’d already tried a couple other daycares before that, but they had no spaces left for the twins or cost way too much money or were way too far away and opened and closed at times he couldn't manage. Nicky was running out of options and he was desperate. After the woman who worked at the Edgar Allan Daycare had finished laughing in his face, she'd looked down her nose at him and condescendingly told him to go try that new charity case Fox Daycare.

Nicky's cheeks had gone warm with embarrassment and shame, but at the end of the day he had looked up Fox Daycare and he was glad he had. David Wymack's own son used to go to the Edgar Allan Daycare, but Wymack had pulled him out after an incident that the daycare claimed no responsibility for. Wymack used to be a coach, but now he ran his own daycare centre the exact opposite way that the Edgar Allan Daycare was run. His daycare was not some ultra exclusive, ultra disciplined, ‘guaranteed to make your kid a success in school’ daycare. His daycare took in kids and families that couldn't afford to get in anywhere else. The hours weren't always regular because he would go out of his way to accommodate families to make sure that the kids that went there were never left alone and to try to ensure that families could stay afloat.

Nicky hadn't been able to afford daycare for one twin, let alone two, but Wymack was always flexible with the daycare fees. He needed to make enough money to stay afloat himself and pay the workers, but he was willing to compromise and lower fees whenever he could. Fox Daycare had been Nicky's last hope and when he'd seen the price per kid he had just broken down in tears in Wymack's office. It was a low point for him, but he couldn't make himself regret it because Wymack had told him they'd work something out and they certainly had.

Nicky needed somewhere to leave the twins so he could go to work so that he could make money to take care of them and to pay for somewhere or someone to watch them. Without a daycare, he couldn't work. Without work, he couldn't afford a daycare. It had seemed completely hopeless. But then Wymack had offered him a solution in the form of a job at the daycare.

Now, Nicky still picked up shifts at his dishwashing job when he could, but his main job was working at the daycare. In exchange, he made enough money to get by. He also got to spend time with the twins instead of neglecting them and he got them into daycare for free. It was a deal unbelievably tipped in Nicky's favour, but Wymack had told him not to thank him. "This isn't charity. I expect you to work your ass off for us."

When Nicky was busy at his other job and couldn't look after the twins while the daycare was closed, Wymack never had a problem watching them at his place after hours. He never made it feel like a burden, although Nicky still felt that it must be sometimes. But whenever Nicky mentioned anything about his concern or tried to offer for Wymack to take some money off his pay cheque, Wymack just shook his head and told Nicky not to offer again.

"What's the difference watching three kids instead of just the one?" Wymack asked as though Nicky didn't struggle to wrangle the twins at home without another kid in the mix most days. "Besides, I haven't seen Kevin this attached to another kid since that little monster at his old daycare."

Nicky still couldn't believe that Andrew was the twin who had found a best friend at the daycare. Aaron didn't even play with or talk to the other kids, no matter how much Nicky tried to talk him into playing with them. Andrew was inseparable from Kevin. He had been since halfway through his first day at the daycare. Aaron didn't talk at daycare at all. Nicky was concerned about it, but didn't know what to do. He did his best for the twins, but most days he still felt stretched thin. He loved the twins though and he just wanted them to be okay. He wanted to be good enough for them in a way their birth mother and Andrew's foster families never had been.

Now, he was afraid that he'd been so worried about Andrew that he hadn't even realized there was something off with Aaron until it was already too late to prevent it. Nicky had only had the twins for a few months, but Aaron had always been quiet. He had barely talked the first few days, but then he had started to warm up to Nicky and talked to him more. Nicky had figured Aaron was just nervous in a new house with a new guardian when he had only been with Tilda before and so he had worried more about Andrew after those first few days because Andrew had the worse attitude problem and got into more trouble. But, now, Nicky wondered if he was paying too much attention to Andrew and not enough to Aaron. Andrew still had his problems, but he at least he had a friend in daycare. Aaron just played by himself a few feet away from Andrew and followed Andrew around without talking. Even when he needed something, Aaron would sit silently or come over and say something barely audible to Nicky and he didn't talk to the other daycare workers at all.

“Come on,” Nicky said in an exasperated tone. “Time to go.”

Aaron looked miserable, but stood at the door and waited.

“Where’s Andrew?” Nicky asked.

Aaron said nothing. He just shrugged, but Nicky had a feeling he knew more than he was letting on. Knowing that wasn’t going to help him though.

Nicky sighed and left Aaron at the door and went to go look for Andrew. When he walked into the kitchen and spotted him, he nearly had a heart attack. Andrew was perched precariously on the counter of their tiny kitchen, standing on his tiptoes to try to get the cereal out of the cupboard.

“ _Andrew_ ,” Nicky said in horror, but Andrew ignored him.

Andrew stretched up even taller and Nicky rushed over, afraid that he was going to fall and crack his head open.

“You could have just asked,” Nicky insisted as Andrew managed to tilt the box enough that he could grab it.

“Aaron’s hungry,” Andrew said as if that explained why he had scaled the counter to get the box himself instead of just asking Nicky to help him.

Nicky wasn’t sure why Aaron hadn’t told him that he was hungry himself. When Nicky had told him they were leaving, why hadn’t Aaron reminded him that they hadn’t eaten yet? Nicky felt guilty that he forgot the twins hadn’t eaten. It was bad enough that he forgot to eat himself, but he couldn’t believe that he had forgotten to feed the twins.

“Come on,” he said. “You can eat it in the car. We have to go.”

Nicky hated being late to work. Wymack already did so much for him and he felt so guilty whenever he came in late. He felt like he didn’t deserve his job and like he didn’t deserve all the chances Wymack kept giving him after each and every warning he got, even though he knew that he needed them to get by.

Nicky reached out to try to lift Andrew safely down from the counter, but Andrew went rigid and threw the box of cereal at his face. The corner of the box hit just below Nicky’s right eye before it fell to the floor. Nicky brought a hand up to his eye instinctively and Andrew remained rigid as he pressed himself back against the cupboards as much as he could.

Nicky didn’t know what he had done to set Andrew off, but he backed up a few steps because, clearly, Andrew did not want him near him.

“I can get down myself,” Andrew growled out after a long moment.

Nicky watched nervously as Andrew sat down on the countertop and then slid off.

Andrew’s eyes never left Nicky’s as he bent down to grab the box of chocolatey cereal off of the floor. He didn’t start walking out of the kitchen until after Nicky left with the hope that Andrew would follow. When they walked outside, Andrew trailed behind slowly and Nicky could feel his eyes on him the whole way to the car.

Nicky didn’t know why Andrew didn’t trust him even a little bit. He didn’t know what had happened to Andrew that made him respond to things the ways that he did. He wished he could tell what caused Andrew’s sudden tension and violent reactions, but most of the time he had no idea what he had done that he needed to avoid the next time. Sometimes, looking after Andrew felt like too much. He was glad that Andrew wasn’t with his parents and that Andrew wasn’t in foster care with some family that mistreated him. Nicky wouldn’t give either of them up, but looking after the twins was exhausting and a lot of the time with Andrew, Nicky felt like he was totally failing him. Aaron seemed to feel at least a little more comfortable around him than he was around others. With Aaron, Nicky at least felt like maybe he was making some kind of difference. With Andrew, Nicky often wondered if he was making the situation worse.

* * *

“Have you eaten yet today?” Wymack asked when Nicky rushed into Fox Daycare fifteen minutes late.

The question took him off guard, but Nicky answered, “The twins had cereal in the car on the way here.”

“Great,” Wymack said. “What about you?”

Nicky didn’t answer at first. Instead, he watched Andrew head straight towards Kevin while Aaron trailed behind him. Kevin visibly relaxed when Andrew sat down beside him.

Aaron sat down a little further away and Andrew didn’t even glance in his direction to acknowledge that he was there. Nicky still didn’t understand what that was about. Andrew had gone out of his way to climb the kitchen to get Aaron food because he was hungry, but he couldn’t be bothered to acknowledge Aaron’s presence the vast majority of the time. Aaron still followed him everywhere though.

“You look like shit,” Wymack pointed out. Clearly, he wasn’t giving up that easily. “Have you eaten today?”

Nicky considered lying for a moment, but he doubted Wymack would believe him if he did.

“No,” Nicky admitted. “I was running late, but I’ll be alright.”

“Go grab something,” Wymack told him.

“I’m already late,” Nicky pointed out. “I should be working, not-“

Wymack already put up with too much from him. Nicky needed to do his job and prove that he deserved to keep it, even if he wasn’t totally convinced of that himself.

“Go,” Wymack said with a sternness to his voice that said he wasn’t going to give in anytime soon. “You’re no good to anyone in this condition. You can’t take care of anyone if you don’t take care of yourself.”

Nicky knew arguing was hopeless, so he gave in and grabbed the first two things he could find in the kitchen, a box of orange juice and a bagel. He had to admit to himself that he did feel significantly better once he had something in his system.

When he came back to get to work, Kevin was picking out a picture book from the sports bin and Andrew was standing guard to make sure that no one else came near them. Aaron usually hovered on the edge of whatever Kevin was doing because Andrew always did what Kevin did. Now, Aaron was sitting with a picture on his own a few feet away, frowning down at the page. He’d picked an alphabet book that only had one word per page, but he still looked like he was struggling and Nicky knew it was only a matter of time until he’d get angry and give up.

Aaron was not a strong reader. Aaron wanted to read books, but he also didn’t always remember what sounds the letters made and he only knew a few words and only remembered them some of the time. Reading and writing were sore spots for Aaron because he was so behind where kids were supposed to be in grade one because Tilda never helped him with any of it and didn’t read to him. It didn’t help that Andrew was above grade level and could read and write without the struggle Aaron had to go through. Andrew never forgot how to spell or read a word he had seen before and Aaron just got more frustrated because Andrew didn’t even try but he could read and write words anyway. It also didn’t help that Andrew wouldn’t help Aaron when he got stuck.

Nicky tried to help Aaron, but there were only so many hours in a day and he was always busy, so he knew he wasn’t practicing with him as much as he should be. He debated going over to try to help him out now, but then Seth started throwing Lego and Nicky had to go see if he could calm him down.

Nicky tried to talk Seth down, but Seth glared at Nicky and started aiming for his head. Thankfully, Bee came out of her office to see what was going on and intervened before Seth could start throwing any at the other kids. Allison’s parents were rich and powerful and would not stand for her coming home with a Lego shaped bruise. Nicky was glad when Bee stepped in because she was always better than Nicky at handling kids that were having meltdowns.

While Nicky was dodging Lego, a woman and her son had entered the daycare and Wymack went over to greet them. The woman did not look very impressed with the daycare as she stared at Seth and Bee. The woman’s son looked a little younger than the twins and Nicky figured he must be Neil, the new kid who was starting daycare today.

Neil hid from Wymack behind his mom and eyed the room nervously. His eyes lit up a little when he looked over at where Kevin and the twins were sitting. Nicky wondered if Neil recognized Kevin from the Edgar Allan Daycare.

When it was time for his mother to go, Neil did not want to let go of his mother’s hand. It was clear he was one of those kids that hated to be dropped off at daycare because he couldn’t stand the separation from his mother. Most of the kids who came to Fox Daycare were nervous and hostile around new people, but not many clung to their parents the way Neil clung to his mother now.

Nicky decided that Neil was going to need a friendly face to show him around, so he went over there to introduce himself.

“Neil, _let go_ ,” his mother hissed at him as she yanked her hand from his. Neil hid even further behind her legs and she sighed as she pulled him out from behind her, then pushed him forward as she insisted, “ _Go_.”

Neil looked up at Nicky and then Wymack with a horrified expression. Nicky’s heart broke at how afraid of them Neil looked.

Nicky crouched down to try to be less intimidating and gave Neil a big smile. “You’re Neil, right?”

Neil said nothing. He didn’t even nod. He tried to back up against his mom’s legs, but she was already walking back out of the building as fast as she could while Neil was distracted. Her slipping out as soon as he looked away, without even saying goodbye first, did not make it seem like this was new behaviour out of Neil because it was his first day in a new place. It seemed like he had probably reacted like this every morning at Edgar Allan Daycare.

When the door fell shut behind her, Neil whipped his head around and his eyes went wide. It was clear he was terrified to be there without his mother.

“Hey, Neil,” Nicky said to try to get his attention again. “I’m Nicky. Do you want me to show you around?”

Neil turned back to look at Nicky and found his voice for just long enough to answer, “No.”

“Are you sure?” Nicky asked. “I know it can be a bit scary in a new place and it might help i-“

Neil ran off before he could finish his sentence.

Nicky glanced at Wymack, but Wymack just shrugged. “Let him go. He’s overwhelmed.”

Nicky stood up and watched to see where Neil was going. Neil didn’t seem to know. He stopped halfway between them and the rest of the kids for a moment and looked back over his shoulder. When he saw they were watching him, he turned and rushed over to Kevin and sat down a few feet away from him. Andrew stood up and moved to sit between Kevin and Neil and stared at Neil in a way that made Nicky worried that Neil would go home from his first day there injured.

“Looks like he found someone he recognizes,” Wymack said as if he hadn’t noticed Andrew’s territorial behaviour when Neil tried to sit anywhere near Kevin. “Kevin can show him around.”

“Andrew isn’t going to like that,” Nicky said with a sigh. And there was just one more thing for him to worry about.


	2. Chapter 2

Nicky was used to rough weeks. Barely scraping by was the norm for him by this point.

This week had been particularly rough though.

Andrew was upset about Neil coming to daycare and setting his eyes on Kevin as the only person he wanted to be around there. Andrew's attitude has gotten particularly bad this week at home. And at daycare. And at school. He’d hit a new record for the number of times Bee’d had to pull him into her office to calm him down in one week.

Aaron had shut down more than usual and barely talked at home anymore. Nicky didn’t even have time to properly worry about that. Neil still didn’t trust any of the adults and had developed a habit of trying to run out of the building when they're not looking. Any time an adult stepped anywhere near him, Neil ran across the daycare at top speed.

In the last few days, Andrew had already tripped him and made him face-plant or skid across the floor at least three times that Nicky had caught and the threats Andrew was making against him for going near Kevin were creative and terrifying. Nicky didn’t even want to think about where Andrew learned to talk like that.

Even Andrew's friendship with Kevin was a mess because Andrew was possessive of Kevin and mad at him for trying to show Neil around, even though Nicky knew Wymack told Kevin to show Neil around.

Today wasn’t off to a better start at all, considering Nicky slept through his alarm and woke up ten minutes late. He really couldn’t afford to lose those ten minutes, but they were gone.

To make matters worse, the twins wouldn’t get ready for a change. Then, there were no long-sleeved shirts clean for Andrew, so Andrew just sat down on his bed.

“Can’t you just wear this one?” Nicky pleaded as he held up a red t-shirt, but Andrew didn’t respond.

Nicky tried to move closer to him, but as soon as Nicky got within a step of the bed, Andrew kicked him in the legs. Clearly, Andrew wasn’t budging.

Andrew always wore a long-sleeved shirt under his t-shirt so that people wouldn’t call him Aaron. Nicky usually didn’t mind, since it helped put an end to some of the fights that used to start from them being called the wrong names, but it really wasn’t convenient when Nicky forgot to do laundry and Andrew wouldn’t move until Nicky found him a long-sleeved shirt.

Nicky let out a sigh and gave up. He dug through the twins’ dirty laundry and sniffed a few shirts until he found a long sleeved one that didn’t totally stink yet and then he gave it to Andrew. Andrew just stared at him until he left the room. Nicky really hoped Andrew was actually going to get dressed and not just sit there and refuse to leave the house in the morning again.

When Andrew finally came out of the twins’ room dressed, Nicky grabbed some cereal for the twins to eat in the car and skipped his own breakfast. He managed to get the twins out of the house, but when he went to unlock the car, he didn’t have his keys which meant Andrew took them again.

Andrew didn’t like going to school and didn’t like leaving daycare so he lately he had developed a habit of stealing and hiding Nicky's keys and wallet.

Nicky tried to look on the bright side and thought to himself that at least it was just his keys this time. Andrew’s pickpocketing was getting pretty old pretty fast though.

Nicky checked all his pockets just in case he misplaced the keys, but all he found was pictures Aaron had drawn and stuffed in his pocket, but no keys.

Nicky was frustrated and tired and so he grumbled under his breath about how he always had plenty of pictures falling out of his pockets, but never anything useful like his keys that he left there. He only realized his mistake when he caught Aaron flinch out of the corner of his eye.

He felt a surge of guilt and he tried to shoot Aaron an apologetic look, but Aaron was already staring at the ground.

Nicky felt like a total failure. It was bad enough he couldn’t even get the twins in the car, it was worse that he was taking out his frustration on the twins when he knew how they tiptoed around adults. No wonder Andrew didn’t trust him. No wonder Aaron never talked to him about his problems, even if he did trust him with some things.

Nicky let out a sigh and crouched down to Aaron’s eye level and told him, “I’m sorry. I love the pictures. I just really need my keys.”

Andrew glared at Nicky like he was mad at him for the way his apology came out which made no sense. Nicky was pretty sure that Andrew was not going to tell him anything about where his keys were. He decided to try anyway.

“Andrew, I really need the keys. Where are they? Or can you at least give me a hint?”

Andrew just stared back at him with a blank expression.

Nicky turned his attention back to Aaron. He still wouldn’t make eye contact.

“Aaron, did you see where he put them?”

Aaron shook his head no. Nicky wasn’t sure he believed him, but it was clear Aaron was not going to tell him.

Nicky sighed. “Fine. Let’s go back inside to look for them.”

Andrew turned towards the door immediately.

It took Nicky more than ten minutes to find his keys and by the time he managed to get the twins into the car, they were so late.

* * *

 The morning was hectic and it didn’t help that Nicky was trying so hard to keep busy because he didn’t want Wymack commenting on how exhausted he was. He needed to prove himself. He needed to make up for being late _again_.

When lunch time came around, Nicky didn’t have a real lunch break and didn’t have time to eat. Instead, he had to go to the twins’ school to talk to the twins’ teacher about Andrew’s behaviour problems that had been getting worse than usual this week.

He listened to the teacher tell him all about how Andrew kicked and shoved and pushed through other kids to get what he wanted. He wasn’t surprised, but he was embarrassed and guilty and felt like he was the one in trouble. He was supposed to be better for the twins than his parents. He was supposed to be creating a safer home environment for them.

“Have there been any big changes for the twins at home lately?” Mrs. Spear asked.

The twins lives had never been stable, but it wasn’t like there was anything big that had changed compared to any other time. Nicky felt like he was taking a test he hadn’t prepared for as he responded, “Not that I know of.”

“I know it must be incredibly difficult raising two kids on your own, especially at such a young age,” Mrs. Spear told him. “Especially with kids like Andrew and Aaron.”

Nicky could hear the pity in her tone and he knew that kids like them meant kids with so many problems that caused so many more. He felt uncomfortable in his chair and wished he could leave. Mrs. Spear probably thought the worst of him and the twins. He wondered when they started talking about both of them and not just Andrew.

“I understand that the twins don’t have a steady home life,” she said and Nicky tried not to show how much that hurt when he was trying his best to give them one and knew he wasn’t succeeding. “But I can’t have Andrew hurting other children. It’s not just classmates either. The other day, he tried to rip my hair out when I tried to pull him off of another child.”

Nicky doesn’t know what to say or do. If he knew how to get Andrew to stop, he would have already. He only knew that trying to stop Andrew usually made things worse.

“We’re working on his anger issues,” Nicky said because what else could he say. He was trying to help. Bee was succeeding a lot more than he was. “He has a counselor he’s been seeing.”

“That’s great,” Mrs. Spear said and the relief was evident on her features. “He needs help.”

Nicky knew she meant that Andrew needed help beyond what Nicky could give him and while that was true and it was good that Bee was able to help him, Nicky couldn’t help but feel like he wasn’t good enough to help Andrew.

He thought that maybe their meeting was coming to an end and he might be able to grab something to eat quickly after all, but then the conversation shifted.

“While you’re here, I also would like to talk to you about Aaron,” Mrs. Spear said and Nicky felt his chances at grabbing lunch to eat in the car slipping away.

“I know. I know,” Nicky said quickly. “He’s not where he’s supposed to be and I’ve been trying to work with him on reading and writing, but there just hasn’t been enough time to practi-“

“No,” she interrupted. “That’s not what I wanted to talk about.”

Nicky felt his stomach drop.

“Yes, Aaron is below grade level and is falling further behind instead of catching up,” she said. “And I am concerned about that, but that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about today.”

Nicky braced himself for the worst.

“Aaron doesn’t seem to be connecting with the other kids,” she told him. “He refuses to participate when we do group or partner activities. Most of the time, he won’t talk to the other kids at all and when he does it is to insult them. Have you noticed him having trouble connecting to others outside of school too?”

Nicky swallowed the lump in his throat. He knew Aaron didn’t talk to or play with other kids at daycare. He had hoped that Aaron at least had a friend at school or at least someone he was willing to talk to.

“Yes. I’ve noticed that,” Nicky said. “But he’s a really great kid. He’s just quiet.”

Nicky didn’t necessarily think that was true. Aaron was quiet, but there was something else there. He could figure that out on his own without feeling like he was under a microscope, having his parenting skill judged, though.

“I’m not saying that he isn’t,” Mrs. Spear assured him. “I am just saying that his social-emotional skills are concerning. Both of the twins’ are.”

Nicky didn’t know what to do about either of the twins or how to help them, but he said whatever he had to to get out of that meeting. Afterward, he left the school with no new ideas, feeling like a total and utter failure as a parent, and without time to grab lunch.

* * *

That afternoon at the daycare was rough. There was something going around and kids had been coming in sick all week. Nicky narrowly dodged getting thrown up on by one of the kids.

Less than twenty minutes after the older kids got back after school, it took less than twenty minutes before Bee had to pull Andrew into her office.

Andrew had been set off by something so small. Neil had walked over and asked Kevin what he was reading and Andrew had responded by grabbing the book out of Kevin’s hands and throwing it at Neil’s head.

Nicky thought that at least Bee knew how to calm Andrew down and maybe she could get him to explain like Andrew would never explain to Nicky.

Nicky couldn’t be sure if Andrew left her office calm or not because he was busy finding a change of clothes for one of the kids and by the time he came back, Andrew was pushing Neil over because Kevin and Neil were playing together, pretending to be famous exy players. It wasn’t long before Andrew was back in Bee’s office again already.

Even when Neil moved to sit by himself, away from Kevin, Andrew wouldn’t take his eyes off of him until his mother came to pick him up.

Nicky was terrified of Mary Josten. When she came to pick Neil up, she wanted to know what happened to her son’s face. When Nicky sputtered out an explanation about what happened with the book, she reamed him out.

It stung when she insisted he was terrible at his job. It was much worse when she demanded, “Keep that little monster away from my son.”

Nicky felt even worse about his parenting skills than he already had. He was afraid of Mary and worried about Andrew. He was worried that maybe he was letting Andrew turn into a little monster.

* * *

By the time daycare was over, Nicky's keys and wallet had mysteriously gone missing again.

“Come on,” Nicky pleaded. “You’re getting to go play at Kevin’s anyway. Neil won’t even be there. So just give me my stuff back. I need to go to work.”

Andrew just stared through him.

This time, it took Nicky nearly twenty minutes to find his stuff. He barely had time to eat and change before he had to head off to his other job while the twins were at Wymack’s. He hoped that Andrew getting to spend time with Kevin without Neil there would help fix things.

At work, Nicky got in trouble for being late. He got in trouble for not working fast enough because he was too exhausted to work at his usual pace. By the time his shift ended, he felt awful and even more exhausted. He left worried that he might lose his job. He needed that job to keep food on the table and to be able to pay rent. Without it, he couldn’t afford to keep the twins. But the twins couldn’t afford to live with his parents instead.

It was late when Nicky got to Wymack’s place and woke the twins up to drive them home.

When they got home, he just wanted to tuck them in and get a few hours of sleep in before they would have to get up and start all over again. Well, he just wanted to tuck Aaron in. Andrew refused to let anyone tuck him in.

But Nicky had forgotten to unplug Aaron’s nightlight that morning and, of course, the bulb just had to die in the night.

The twins were already in bed when Nicky found that one out. He had just finished changing out of his work clothes and was about to go to sleep when Aaron came to tell him his nightlight had gone out. So Nicky got back up to go try to figure out a solution.

He tried to leave the hall light on and the door open a bit, but Andrew was having none of that.

Aaron didn’t want to sleep in the dark.

Andrew didn’t want the door open.

Aaron wanted Nicky to stay until he fell asleep.

Andrew wanted Nicky to leave right that second.

Nicky tried to negotiate Aaron sleeping in his bed with the door open a bit so that Aaron would have the hall light and feel safe and Andrew could have his door closed and not have Nicky there.

Aaron agreed. Andrew didn’t.

Andrew didn’t want Nicky sleeping in their room. Andrew didn’t want Aaron sleeping in Nicky’s room. He wanted Aaron to sleep in their room with the door closed and the light off and he wasn’t willing to make any compromises so eventually Aaron gave in and agreed, even though it was pretty clear that he wasn’t okay with it.

Nicky didn’t like it and he was worried about Aaron, but he figured it was just one night and there wasn’t much else he could do. When Andrew set his mind on something, he couldn’t be convinced of anything else. When Andrew convinced Aaron to do something, there was no changing Aaron’s mind. So Nicky decided to just leave it and go get some much needed sleep.

Ten minutes later, Aaron was back out bed and in Nicky’s room. He left the hall light on and the door open a little bit, then crawled into Nicky’s bed.

Barely a minute later, Andrew showed up. He left the hall light on and hesitated for a moment before he crawled into Nicky’s bed too, leaving as much space between him and Nicky as possible.

None of them got much sleep. After Nicky did fall asleep for a few minutes, he woke up just enough to roll over half in his sleep. Andrew bit down on his arm hard and woke him up the rest of the way. It was not a restful night.

* * *

The next morning went about as smoothly as the one before.

Nicky forgot to do laundry again so he had to find another dirty shirt for Andrew to wear.

Andrew's stealing habits were getting worse. Nicky couldn’t find his keys and the twins just sat there and stared at him while he pleaded with them that they needed to leave.

He locked himself in the bathroom and gave himself five minutes to break down before he came back out again to look for his keys while trying to hide the fact that he had been crying from the twins.

When he finally did find his keys, in the back of the fridge, he was already late. Wymack didn’t say anything about it and that made it even worse.

During the day, the kids were painting and Nicky was trying to keep them from getting paint on every surface in the place. He succeeded at saving some things from the paint mess, but mostly he just wound up with paint all over himself.

The twins were both sick and halfway through the day, Nicky had to go pick them up from school, still covered in paint. Nicky couldn’t afford a night off from his other job and probably couldn’t get anyone to cover this late, but he couldn’t leave the twins when they were sick.

He told Wymack that he was planning on pleading with someone to cover his shift and Wymack convinced him to let him take the twins so that he wouldn’t have to take the night off. Nicky felt guilty leaving the twins when they were sick and he felt guilty unloading two sick and cranky twins on Wymack, but Wymack insisted that if Nicky really wanted to thank him for it he would stop making such a big deal about it and leave before he was late for work.

Nicky barely had time to change and wash some of the paint off before going to his other job. He probably did not have time to stop at Wal-Mart, but he needed to grab medicine for the twins and another light bulb for Aaron’s night light.

He grabbed what he needed as quickly as possible and checked the time on his phone over and over and over again while he waited in line to pay.

Of course, the guy in line behind him was super attractive because Nicky was in his work clothes and in a rush and exhausted and he probably still had some paint he had missed somewhere from the finger painting fiasco earlier. It’s not like he’d stand any chance anyway, especially when he was buying children’s medicine.

Even more embarrassing though was that when the cashier told him his total, Nicky went to pull his wallet out of his pocket but it wasn’t there. Andrew must have taken it.

He couldn’t afford to not get the twins medicine or have another sleepless night because the nightlight was still burnt out though, so he dug through his pockets looking for any loose coins and bills he could find.

He was absolutely mortified as he held the line up and the cashier stared at him as he emptied out the contents of his pockets on the counter. He ended up almost five dollars short and drawings from Aaron were spread all over the counter now.

He felt even more frazzled as he felt cute guy’s eyes on him and the cashier asked him what he would like to do.

Nicky would like the floor to open up and swallow him. He was holding up the line and going to be late for work for sure, but the twins needed the medicine and nightlight.

He tried to figure out what to do as he grabbed Aaron’s drawings and stuffed them back in his pockets because he couldn’t just leave them there.

Nicky felt a horrible mix of embarrassment and relief as cute guy dropped a five dollar bill on the counter and said, “Here.”

Nicky wanted to tell him that he couldn’t accept it, except he didn’t really have an option. He really needs the money and is so relieved, even as he feels his cheeks get warm.

While the cashier counts Nicky’ change and adds cute guy’s bill to it, Nicky rambles out, “Thank you so much. You just saved my life. Well, not really my life. But the twins are so sick and-“

He cut himself off because he didn’t need to scare off cute guy even more.

He decided not to mention Andrew’s habit of taking and hiding his wallet and keys and explained, “I forgot my wallet at home, but I can pay you back. I swear I can. Give me your number and we can meet up and get coffee. Or I could just give you the five bucks. Or-“

Nicky was so flustered that he was glad when the guy cut him off before he could embarrass himself even further.

He could hardly believe it when the guy responded, “Coffee sounds nice.”

But, sure enough, the cute guy took the receipt from the cashier and pulled a pen out of his pocket to write something.

When he handed the receipt back to him, Nicky was so distracted by staring at Erik’s name and phone number in awe that he nearly forgot the medicine and light bulb on the counter. Even after he grabbed his bag, he nearly tripped over his own feet while Erik was probably still watching him.

He knew that Erik probably wanted nothing to do with him beyond getting coffee and he knew that his life was too much for most people. He also knew that he didn’t have time for sleep, let alone for dating. Still, he was maybe going to be able to see a nice and attractive guy again and that was a nice bright spot in a truly terrible week.


	3. Chapter 3

When Erik’s phone buzzed on his counter, he grabbed it a little too quickly then told himself to calm down. It probably wasn't a text from the guy who had asked him out over a week ago and then never called him.

He was right. It wasn't the guy from the grocery store. It wasn't even a text. It was a Facebook message. His sister was engaged.

Erik tried to be happy for her. In a way he was, but he was also very aware of the fact that he did not have anyone. His entire family was half a world away and the guy from the grocery store was probably never going to call him to go for that coffee.

“At least I have you,” Erik said to Rocko as he scratched behind his ears.

Rocko was his dog. He’d gotten him the month after he had moved to America so that he wouldn't feel so alone. Rocko was great company, but sometimes Erik wished he had someone else to talk to and spend time with.

This was one of those times.

He sent a message to his sister, congratulating her and her fiancé and telling her that he hoped he would be able to make it back to Germany for the wedding, and tried not to think too hard about the fact that he would probably be attending alone.

* * *

Over the past few days, Aaron had developed a new habit of sitting outside by the fence alone and Nicky was concerned. Usually, when the kids were outside to play on the playground out back of the daycare, Andrew would claim the top of the play structure for himself. He'd let Kevin sit up there with him or would watch Kevin playing on the other equipment from there and Aaron would sit up top a little way away from Andrew or would play nearby. But for days now, Aaron had been sitting off to the side against the fence by the sidewalk and Nicky didn't know why.

He tried convincing Aaron to go play with Andrew or one of the other kids who Andrew never let on the top of the play structure with him. Aaron ignored him and Nicky didn't have time to try to convince him because Andrew was threatening to push Neil off the play structure after he followed Kevin up to the top to go down the slide. So Nicky left Aaron by the fence again and headed over to Andrew and Neil before someone could get hurt.

* * *

Later, Nicky was glad to have some time at home with the twins on his one night off of his other job, but the twins didn't seem particularly pleased to have him there. Aaron was too busy organizing piles of rocks on his bedside table to pay any attention to Nicky and Andrew was nowhere to be found again. Nicky wondered where Aaron's newfound interest in rocks came from, but of all the strange behaviour out of the twins, he wasn't particularly concerned about Aaron's new rock collection all too much.

The last time Nicky had seen Andrew was at the end of dinner. The twins had gone off to find something to do while Nicky had washed the dishes and in the time it took Nicky to wash them and dry them all by hand because they couldn't afford to get the dishwasher fixed, Aaron had found something to do on his own and Andrew had disappeared from sight.

Nicky looked all over the apartment for him. He wasn't in the kitchen. He wasn't in the bathroom. He wasn't in the tiny hall closet. He wasn't in the twins' room. He wasn't in Nicky's room. So Nicky went back and tried all the rooms again, checking behind and under everything he thought might be large enough to hide a very small six-year-old, but still, he had no luck.

Aaron was finished with his rocks and glanced up at Nicky when he walked back into the twins' bedroom yet again.

"Do you know where Andrew is?" Nicky asked him. He tried to keep his voice calm like he wasn't worried that Andrew had somehow left the apartment on his own without Nicky hearing him go.

Aaron looked at him for a long moment and then shook his head no. Nicky had a feeling that would be his response whether he knew something or not.

Nicky sighed. "Have you seen him since dinner?"

Aaron shook his head again. He looked like he wanted to say something so Nicky waited, but he never did. Aaron just stood there and waited for Nicky to leave so, eventually, he did.

Nicky tried calling out, without much hope. Andrew didn't listen easily ever, so why would he start now?

"Andrew. Where are you?" He called as he walked up and down the one hallway of their small apartment. "Come on! Come out here! I'm not going to look for you all night! ...Okay, maybe I will. You know what? Yeah. I'll look for you _all night_. So I'm bound to find you sooner or later. Why don't you make it easier on us both and come out now so that we don't have to play this game all night... Andrew. _Please_."

But there was nothing. Andrew didn't even make a noise like he was shifting around wherever he was. Nicky really, really hoped that Andrew was still in the apartment. He couldn't have gotten out on his own, especially without Nicky noticing. Could he have? But then why couldn't Nicky find him?

Nicky walked back to the front door of their apartment and only felt a little relieved when he saw that it was still locked. That meant Andrew was almost definitely still in the apartment. He couldn't have just Houdinied his way out of there without Nicky noticing. Besides, even if Nicky didn't notice, Aaron would have had to have noticed then and wouldn't Aaron be a little more concerned and helpful if Andrew had decided to go out a window or something?

Oh no. What if Andrew _had_ decided to go out a window?

Most of the windows in their little apartment had a screen, but one of the screens was broken on the window in Nicky's bedroom. So Nicky rushed back to his room and checked the window, but it was firmly closed. He tried to open it, but it was just as difficult to budge as usual. Andrew must still be in the apartment somewhere.

"Andrew! Come on!" He pleaded. "Just come out here and you can have as much ice cream as you want!"

They were actually entirely out of ice cream and he couldn't afford to buy the twins anymore right now, but Andrew didn't necessarily know that. Sure, he would probably be mad if he came out from wherever he was hiding for ice cream, only to find out that they didn't have any ice cream left, but at least then Nicky would know where he was and would know he was safe.

What kind of parent lost their kid and couldn't find them again?

Nicky was officially never going to play hide and seek with the twins _ever_. With his luck, he'd probably manage to lose them both and they would refuse to come out until he found them and they'd probably starve to death neglected in their hiding spaces because he couldn't handle searching one measly apartment to find them and make sure that they were okay.

He took a deep breath and told himself to calm down. Panicking wasn't going to help anything. That didn't make panicking any less appealing of an option though.

" _Andrew!_ " He tried again and he felt relief wash over him as he heard something rustling.

He followed the noise, but all he found was Aaron flipping the pages on a book he was frowning down at.

"Nicky," Aaron said. "What's this word?"

Relief was replaced by disappointment as he realized that the only rustling sound he had heard was the sound of Aaron flipping through the pages of his book, looking for any words he recognized.

Nicky glanced at the word Aaron was pointing at and told him, "This.”

He turned to go look for Andrew some more, but Aaron pointed to the next word and asked, "What about this one?"

Nicky really did want to help Aaron. He knew that Aaron really needed help and he knew that he was supposed to be trying to make more time to read with him and his one night off was the perfect time for that. Aaron had even found a book he wanted to read on his own and so it really would be the perfect opportunity if it weren't for the fact that Andrew was still missing and almost an hour had passed since Nicky had gone to do the dishes and Andrew had last been seen.

Nicky's brain was running worst case scenarios of Andrew not responding because he was injured or sick or something else was wrong and he needed Nicky's help, but Nicky was failing him. The logical part of Nicky's brain said that Andrew was probably just hiding and being stubborn again, but that didn't help him from worrying about the possibility that this time something really was wrong and this time Andrew wouldn't eventually reappear like Nicky hadn't spent the last hour or two looking for him frantically.

"I can't help you right now," Nicky said and he felt a pang of guilt at the look on Aaron's face. "Can't you try another book or just look at the pictures or read the words you know in that one?"

As soon as he said it, he knew it was a bad idea. If Aaron was stuck on 'this’ enough that he had asked for help, he wasn't going to be able to recognize much in that book, if anything.

Aaron slammed the book closed and threw it across the room. It hit the wall with a thwack and then fell to the floor.

"I didn't even want to read," he insisted and he stomped out of the room.

Nicky waited for a second to see if Andrew was in there and would react, but there was no sound so, after a moment, Nicky walked out of the room after Aaron to try to see if he was alright.

At least he could maybe help the one twin he knew the location of since he felt guilty for not helping him and sending him into one of the fits he tended to get when he wasn't able to read something.

Aaron couldn't read many words, but Aaron desperately wanted to read. When he couldn't figure out words and couldn't understand the story, he got frustrated fast. The fact that Andrew could read much more difficult books with no trouble and wouldn't read to him only made him angrier, but no matter how much Nicky tried to convince Andrew to help his brother, Andrew would not.

Aaron was sitting on the couch now with his arms crossed over his chest and his knees pulled up onto the couch in what was clearly a defensive position. He wouldn't meet Nicky's eye. The second Nicky walked into the room, Aaron turned his whole body to face the wall opposite of him.

"Aaron," Nicky tried, but Aaron ignored him. "Look. Maybe we can read together after we find Andrew. I could help you with that book. Do you think you could help me find Andrew so we can read sooner?”

"You're never going to find him," Aaron told him.

Nicky knew that logically there was no way that Aaron could know that and if Aaron was so convinced that he would never look where Andrew was, then maybe Aaron did know where Andrew was hiding after all. But that didn't make him feel any better about Aaron reaffirming his fears that he was never going to find Andrew.

What was he going to do if he still couldn't find Andrew at the twins' bedtime? Or the next morning? How mortifying would it be to have to call Wymack and tell him that he couldn't come into work because he couldn't find Andrew? What if something really was wrong? What if Andrew had somehow managed to get the window open and climb out?

Nicky went back and forced the window open again, just so he could look out it and make sure that there was no sign that Andrew had gone out it. The window was way too high up and there was no sign that had anyone had fallen out, so at least Andrew probably hadn't left and gotten injured somewhere else. Which meant that Andrew had been just ignoring him this whole time while he had listened to him get more and more concerned.

Nicky didn't understand why Andrew never listened to him. Or why Andrew never listened to anyone.

Well, that wasn't _exactly_ true. Andrew did listen to Betsy Dobson. And that gave Nicky a desperation fuelled idea.

"Andrew, come out now or I'll call Bee and tell her what's going on," Nicky threatened.

Nicky hated that he was threatening Andrew now, but he figured it was alright if he wasn't threatening to harm him. Right? He just wanted to make sure Andrew was alright and Andrew liked Bee. Bee wouldn't do anything bad to Andrew.

Nicky still felt like a horrible parent.

He waited for what felt like forever, but there was still no sound. Aaron glanced at Nicky over his shoulder and whipped his head around the second he noticed that Nicky saw him.

Nicky sighed. He had hoped that threat would just get Andrew to come back out. He didn't really want to call Bee at home and bother her during her time off because he couldn't handle the twins on his own, but he had already made the threat, so he was going to have to follow through with it and hope it would make Andrew come out of hiding.

"I mean it," Nicky warned. "You have ten more seconds and then I'm calling her. Ten... Nine... Eight..."

Nicky paused, but still nothing.

"Seven... Six... Really? Just come out. Or make a noise. Or _something_. Where are you?"

He waited again, but there was no sign that Andrew was anywhere nearby.

"Alright. You're making me do this," Nicky insisted as he reached into his pocket. "I'm pulling my phone out. Five... Four... Three... Two..."

Nicky looked through his contacts and found Betsy's number with a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"One..."

He waited about thirty seconds, but there was still nothing. So he pressed a button on his phone and held it up to his ear.

"It's ringing," he insisted.

He was hoping that Andrew would come out of hiding and he would be able to hang up before Betsy could answer. Instead, she answered on the third ring and Andrew stayed silent.

"Hello," she said. "Is something wrong, Nicky?”

"Oh, hello Dr. Dobson," Nicky said at a too loud volume to put on a show for Andrew, who he really hoped was listening and not asleep somewhere. “Sorry for calling you outside of work, but I need help with Andrew and I don’t know what else to do.”

Nicky was embarrassed, but he knew that Bee knew better than him how to get through to Andrew and he needed to swallow his pride and take the help.

“Don’t worry about calling after work if you need help with the twins,” Bee told him. “I’m happy to help. What’s going on?”

“Andrew is hiding from me and refusing to come back out. Again,” he said. “I’ve been looking for him for over an hour and he’s nowhere to be found. I have no idea what to do. I told him if he didn’t come out I’d have to call you. So that’s what I’m doing. He listens to you. Do you have any ideas how to get him to come out?”

It was silent for a moment and Nicky hoped she was thinking and hadn’t hung up on him.

“If he’s not ready to come out, then give him some space,” Bee told him after a pause. “He’s probably hiding because he’s overwhelmed or doesn’t feel safe. It’s probably a defence mechanism he started in other homes. If he wants to hide, don’t get mad or threaten punishment if he doesn’t come out of hiding. That’s just going to make it worse. It’s better to let him hide and feel safe until he’s ready to come out again. Just let him know that you’re there for him whenever he’s ready, but don’t pressure him. Even if you happen to spot him while he’s hiding, just pretend you don’t see him. He hasn’t had many reasons to trust adults and you need to show him that you’re someone he can trust.”

Nicky was glad for the advice, but that didn’t make his heart hurt anymore that Andrew felt like he had to hide from him and couldn’t trust him.

“You really think I should just leave him there?” Nicky asked.

“Give it a try,” Bee told him. “He’ll have to come back out at some point. Make it a little easier by shifting the attention off of him.”

“Alright. I’ll give it a try,” he said. “Thank you.”

When Nicky got off the phone with Bee, he took a second to think about Bee’s advice as he put his phone back in his pocket.

After a moment to gather himself, Nicky called out, “Fine, Andrew. Stay there however long you want. I’m going to read with Aaron. You come out whenever you’re ready.”

So Nicky went and grabbed the book Aaron had thrown across his bedroom and brought it over to the couch. He sat down next to Aaron and Aaron glanced at him out of the corner of his eye.

“Do you still want help reading this?” Nicky asked.

Aaron said nothing, but he turned his body so he was facing the book instead of the wall so Nicky took that as a yes and started reading. It took a few pages for Aaron to warm up to him, but then he leaned over the book to watch the pages as Nicky read them.

When they finished the book and Aaron went to get another book for him to read, Nicky thought at least one of the twins wasn’t upset with him anymore.

After a few books, they turned on a movie. Twenty minutes in, Andrew showed up and sat down on a chair to watch the movie from a safe distance, as if he had never disappeared..

* * *

“What’s going on with you?” Wymack asked. “You’ve seemed a bit off lately.”

“Nothing,” Nicky said because it couldn’t be anything anyway. It was stupid to let himself get distracted thinking about a guy he could never have anything with.

“Don’t lie to me with that ‘nothing’ garbage,” Wymack told him. “Obviously, there’s something bothering you. Lying about it isn’t going to help either of us.”

Nicky sighed and then admitted, “I met this perfect guy and he gave me his number and I really want to text him, but it doesn’t matter. There’s no way he would be interested in me once he got to know me and it’s not like I can date anybody right now anyway. The twins are a full-time job and then some each. I can’t just leave them even more of the time when I’m not at work to go out with some guy I met for two minutes.”

Nicky expected Wymack to agree with him or at least not to argue. He should have known better.

Instead, Wymack said, “If you like this guy, you should call him.”

“I can’t,” Nicky said. “The twins have been even harder than usual to look after lately. I’m not doing enough. I can’t lose more time with them.”

“The twins will be alright,” Wymack told him. “I can watch them when you need. You’re overthinking this too much. Quit worrying about the big picture and worry about the little one. You like this guy? Go on a date with him. See how it goes. You could use some time for yourself. You need to talk to adults sometimes too.”

“I’ll think about it,” Nicky said because he didn’t know what else to say.

He wanted to listen to Wymack’s advice and go on the date without worrying. He just wasn’t sure he could.

* * *

Nicky actually considered texting Erik for about forty-five minutes before he changed his mind again.

He was watching the kids outside and Aaron was out sitting by the fence all by himself again. Andrew didn’t seem concerned at all about Aaron sitting off by himself, as usual. He was up on the play structure with Kevin again. Except, this time, Neil followed Kevin up to the top again and Andrew was not happy.

Nicky was already on his way over to Aaron when the conflict started on the top of the play structure.

Thankfully, Andrew only pushed Neil down on the play structure and not off of it. Nicky didn’t need to explain a broken arm to Neil’s mother. She terrified him enough and the bruise Andrew had left with a book when he had first shown up had made her angry enough before.

Nicky ran over to the play structure to check on Neil, but Neil just sat where he had landed and didn’t make a sound.

“Neil, are you okay?” Nicky asked.

Neil must not have been too hurt since he stood up and ran away from Nicky at full speed.

Nicky turned his attention on Andrew and insisted, “You can’t keep picking fights with him.”

Andrew glared at him and growled out, “You don’t control me.”

He stalked off and Kevin quickly stood up to follow him. They both ignored Nicky when he called after them.

Nicky felt like he had no control over any of the kids and they listened to him less and less every day. He definitely couldn’t start dating someone. He couldn’t even leave one of the twins unattended to try to help the other.

* * *

When Nicky picked the twins up after work, he was surprised that Neil was still over at Wymack’s apartment too, but he didn’t ask about it in front of the kids. Besides, he didn’t have the right to act like that was strange when he left his own kids with Wymack late at night so often and he was just glad Andrew wasn’t fighting with Neil when he showed up.

The twins were already half asleep as they got up to leave Wymack’s apartment, but Aaron had one of his hands clenched in a fist. Nicky thought that was weird, but he was too exhausted to worry about it.

It wasn’t until they were in the car, when Nicky was doing Aaron’s seatbelt up, that he noticed what was in his hand. It was more rocks.

“Where do you keep getting these?” Nicky asked.

Aaron just stared down at his hand and ignored him.

Nicky didn’t know what else to say. Clearly, Aaron wasn’t going to tell him and it was the least of their problems. He didn’t need to make Aaron feel bad about having a rock interest out of nowhere. That was a mystery that was going to have to be solved another day.

* * *

Nicky was washing the dishes after dinner when he heard arguing in the living room.

“I’m not a baby!” Aaron shouted as Nicky walked into the living room. “Take it back!”

Andrew didn’t seem at all bothered by how upset whatever he had said had made his brother. He was just ignoring him.

“I’m _not_!” Aaron insisted.

“Only babies cry for their mom every night,” Andrew said in a perfectly calm tone and Nicky felt sick.

“I don’t,” Aaron insisted, but there was even more of an edge to his tone now. He was clearly getting more worked up.

Aaron didn’t tend to cry. When he got hurt, he went eerily silent and shut down. Nicky had seen Aaron lose his temper before, but the idea that he cried every night was surprising. The twins shared a room though, so Andrew would know better than him and Nicky felt guilty that he didn’t know how much Aaron apparently missed his mother.

“Yes you do,” Andrew insisted. “You cry every night that you miss her and she didn’t even like you.”

Aaron was fuming now, but Andrew wouldn’t take it back no matter how many times Aaron told him to.

The worst part was that from everything Nicky had heard about and seen how Tilda had treated Aaron, Andrew wasn’t wrong. Nicky felt sick and his heart ached that Aaron was so sad about losing someone who had been so cruel to him. He wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t know if it was worse to let Aaron deal with the truth or to lie and pretend like Tilda really cared about him like he wished she would have.

So, he decided to leave that decision for later.

“Andrew,” he warned. “Stop. _Now._ ”

“Why?” Andrew asked. “It’s true.”

Nicky shot Andrew a warning look he didn’t particularly expect him to pay attention to and then shifted his attention to Aaron as he crouched down to meet his eye level.

“I don’t know how anyone could not want you,” Nicky told him because it was true and it was easier than telling him that his mother hadn’t wanted either of the twins. “It’s okay to miss people and be sad sometimes though.”

Andrew got huffy behind Nicky and stormed out of the room. Clearly, he disagreed. He hadn’t lived with Tilda for long and it was clear that he was not sorry that she wasn’t around anymore.

* * *

Aaron was more quiet than usual for the rest of the night and when it was nearly time for the twins to go to bed, Aaron sat on the couch with a look of concentration like he was thinking really hard about something for a long time.

Finally, he looked up at Nicky and, in a voice so quiet Nicky could hardly hear him, asked, “Nicky, do you like me?”

Nicky could cry from the uncertainty in Aaron’s tone and the way he wouldn’t look up at him, but he didn’t want to make Aaron feel bad or worry about him so he tried not to.

“Of course I like you,” Nicky told him. “I love you.”

He teared up a little despite himself when he saw the confused look on Aaron’s face. He looked so unsure like no one had ever told him they loved him before, or even that they liked him. Nicky was horrified as he realized that maybe no one had.

The twins were a lot of work and exhausting and Nicky felt like he wasn’t doing enough for them almost all of the time, but he loved them so much and he hated that they grew up in a world that didn’t appreciate or love them before he took them in. He hated that they came to expect so little at such a young age.

Aaron finally glanced up at him and then frowned and asked, “Why are you crying?”

“I’m just sad you have to ask if I like you,” Nicky told him. “Because that means I’m not showing you how much I love you enough.”

Aaron looked uncomfortable. He didn’t say anything and he wouldn’t look at Nicky for more than a second at a time. Clearly, he wasn’t used to anyone telling him they loved him, especially twice in one conversation.

Nicky decided to give him some space and went to look for Andrew instead. He found him in the bedroom, reading a book about cars that was definitely above his grade level.

Before Nicky even spoke, Andrew’s head whipped up and his eyes went wide.

“Hey, Andrew,” Nicky said as Andrew stared back at him. “You know how much I love you, right?”

Andrew’s whole body went stiff.

“Because it’s a lot,” Nicky pressed on. He needed the twins to know and he wanted them to get used to the idea that they were loved. “I don’t know where I would be without you two. I love you and Aaron so much and I just really need you both to know that.”

Andrew stared blankly at Nicky for a few seconds longer, then got up and pushed past him and disappeared down the hallway.

By the time Nicky made it back to the living room to check on Aaron, Andrew had disappeared completely.

Nicky remembered Bee’s advice and decided not to look for Andrew, but it was tough. He hated that the twins’ families before him had made it so that they were surprised and uncomfortable when Nicky told them he loved them. He hated that it was the kind of thing Andrew had to go hide to process. Clearly, he wasn’t doing a good enough job of parenting them.

* * *

Aaron had sat by the fence every time they were outside every day for the last week and Nicky was starting to think it was more of a problem than he had originally thought. It was hard keeping an eye on Aaron though when he had to worry about Andrew shoving Neil off of the play structure if he took his eyes off of him for a moment too long.

Andrew had already had some private, probably threatening, conversation with Neil earlier in the day. Nicky had tried talking to Neil to find out what had happened, but Neil had run off the second an adult crouched down in front of him, as usual.

Nicky walked closer to the play structure to try to stop a fight before it could start, even though he knew that Andrew probably wouldn’t listen to him, as Neil once again followed Andrew and Kevin all the way to the top of the play structure. This time, Andrew didn’t push Neil or pick a fight with him though. This time, Neil sat down on the top of the play structure with Andrew and Kevin and Andrew did nothing to stop it. Nicky could hardly believe it.

He wasn’t sure why Andrew was suddenly getting along with Neil, or at least not fighting it, but he didn’t question it. He was just glad that he could go check on Aaron and hopefully not have any kids get injured in the meantime.

Nicky started to walk over to Aaron, but he stopped halfway there when he noticed Aaron’s attention shift to something in the distance. Nicky stood by the swings under the pretense of keeping an eye on Seth to make sure he didn’t push anyone off of one, but really his attention was still on Aaron as long as no fights broke out at the swings.

Then, a girl and her mother appeared on the sidewalk on the other side of the fence. As they approached, Aaron didn’t take his eyes off of the girl, so Nicky shifted his attention over to her. He still barely caught it when she dropped something through the fence as she passed Aaron.

Aaron watched her go and then picked something up from the other side of the fence.

Nicky could hardly believe it. He thought that Aaron had been isolating himself by the fence but, apparently, he had somehow made a friend outside of the daycare and was waiting for her to go by.

When it was time to take the kids back inside for snack time, Nicky saw that Aaron was clutching a few more rocks tightly in his hand.

* * *

As he lay in bed that night after work, Nicky thought about how the twins were both making new friends. Maybe, a girl dropping rocks through a fence for him wasn’t much of a friendship, but at least Aaron wasn’t completely alone again. Maybe, Nicky didn’t see Andrew say a single word to Neil the whole time they were outside, but he still let Neil sit with him and Kevin.

Nicky knew that one good day didn’t mean that the twins were getting better. He knew they still needed a lot of attention and care. But they were spending time with new people and for the first time all week it felt like maybe Nicky wasn’t completely screwing them up.

So he grabbed his phone before he could change his mind and impulse texted Erik. After all, how much damage could grabbing one cup of coffee do? He still owed him that coffee and if things with the twins got to be too much, he could always cancel or not go out with Erik more than once. Besides, Erik might not even want to go out with him anymore or might decide one date was more than enough.

Nicky still had to try though.

Hopefully, Erik wouldn’t have forgotten about him by now. Nicky had asked Erik to coffee when the twins were sick. Erik didn’t have to know that they had been better for days.

Nicky grabbed his phone and really did try to play it cool, but instead he ended up sending a truly embarrassing string of texts.

_the twins r better now so if u still want coffee my lunch is @ noon 2mrw_

_oh its nicky_

_w8 did i tell u my name last time???_

_im the guy u had 2 loan $ for meds bc he 4got his wallet_

_like u just have standing offers 4 coffee w a bunch of guys w twins_

_mayb u do_

_ur pretty attractive_

_ill stop texting u now_

_but we dont have 2 get coffee if u dont want 2_

_i could just give u $_

_or we could do another time if lunch doesnt work 4 u_

_i prbly should have given u more warning_

_its ok if ur busy 2mrw_

_or 4ever_

_ok im done now_

_oh no_

_its almost 3_

_whoops_

_sry 4 texting u so late_

_& so many times so im prbly waking u up_

_& 4 still doing it_

_ok now ill rly stop_

_sry_

Nicky set his phone beside him on the bed and then buried his face in his pillow. Even if Erik had wanted to go out with him before, he probably didn’t anymore. There was nothing Nicky could do to change that now though.

So he left his phone on vibrate and tried not to look at it. He closed his eyes to try to get some much needed sleep, but his brain was only interested in fantasizing about a date with Erik he probably would never go on.

Nicky wished he hadn’t texted him so many times. He’d overwhelmed him for sure. Erik was never going to answer him and Nicky couldn’t blame him.

* * *

When Erik’s alarm went off in the morning, he grabbed his phone to turn it off and was shocked to find that he had twenty-three new texts from a number that wasn’t in his phone. He wondered what the messages could possibly be about. He didn’t know enough people in this country to be getting that many texts from an unknown number, so he figured it must be some kind of work emergency or something.

But when he unlocked his phone, the messages were twenty-three late-night texts from cute grocery store guy. He read through them and had to laugh to himself.

All of the texts might have been a bit much, but clearly Nicky was nervous and Erik thought that was pretty cute. He definitely didn’t mind that Nicky thought he was attractive enough that he would have so many offers he wouldn’t remember the cute flustered guy from last week like he hadn’t been hoping Nicky would call or text all week long.

He sent back a quick text and went to get back out of bed.

_Where do you want to meet for coffee?_

Rocko ran off down the hallway, waiting for Erik to let him outside, but Erik already had another text.

_theres a starbucks by the store we were @_

_if u like starbucks_

_or we could go somewhere else if u dont_

_or if its 2 far_

_where do u want 2 go???_

_i can go wherever u want @ lunch 2day_

_if u want_

_thats prbly 2 soon_

_isnt it_

_i should have said lunch whenever works 4 u_

_pretend I didnt just suggest like 6 hours from now_

_& text u way 2 many times again_

_omg ur typing_

_ill stop_

Lunch that day was kind of short notice, but Erik was just glad that Nicky had texted him back and hadn’t changed his mind about him after all. He didn’t have anywhere else to be at lunch, so Erik was perfectly fine with meeting up with Nicky so soon after Nicky had waited so long to text him.

_Starbucks works for me. See you at noon._

Nicky started typing a response immediately and Erik was expecting another onslaught of text messages, but this time Nicky just sent back a thumbs up emoji.


	4. Chapter 4

Nicky and the twins were out of the apartment later than usual that morning. Andrew had taken Nicky’s wallet and keys again and hidden them and refused to give them back no matter how many times Nicky asked.

Nicky absolutely could _not_ go to this date with Erik without having his wallet. On a different morning, he might give in and just try to barter for the car keys instead, but he couldn’t show up to repay his debts without his wallet again. He didn’t need Erik thinking that he couldn’t afford to go out on the date he asked him on, even if that wasn’t totally untrue.

Aaron must have been able to tell that Nicky was more exasperated than usual because eventually, he walked into the twins’ room where Nicky was looking for his wallet while Andrew still sat in the kitchen eating the rest of the off-brand cereal out of the box and told Nicky, “You’ve got to make him a deal.”

“What?” Nicky asked.

“It’s the only way he’s going to give you your stuff back,” Aaron told him.

Nicky wondered why Aaron knew this and he didn’t. He wondered just how many deals Andrew had made with Aaron and what kind of deals the twins had been making. He wondered if a deal was how Neil had somehow gotten into Andrew’s good graces out of nowhere.

Aaron left to go back to the kitchen, so Nicky followed him. He clearly wasn’t going to find his stuff on his own, so he needed to find some kind of offer to make Andrew give it back.

“Will you give me my stuff back if I make you a deal?” Nicky asked as he walked into the room.

Andrew didn’t respond or acknowledge that Nicky had spoken, but he stopped eating so Nicky figured that must be worth something.

“Give me my wallet and keys now and I’ll take you both out for ice cream before I drop you off at Wymack’s later,” Nicky offered.

Andrew eyed him for a moment and then asked, “Can we get as much as we want?”

Nicky really wanted his wallet back, so he gave in, “As much as you want.”

“You promise?” Andrew asked.

“Yes,” Nicky told him. “I promise.”

Andrew still eyed him for another moment and then warned, “You can’t go back on a promise.”

“I won’t,” Nicky assured him. “However much ice cream you want later, just _please_ get me my wallet and keys.”

Andrew flinched and then quickly covered it up before he got up and ran down the hallway. Nicky was afraid that he was going to go find a place to hide himself too but, instead, Andrew came back into the room with Nicky’s wallet and keys in his hands a couple minutes later. He threw them on the floor instead of passing them to Nicky, but Nicky was too relieved to be annoyed.

* * *

Nicky spent his morning at daycare with the kids who were too young for school and the kids who had kindergarten in the afternoon. By the time his lunch break came, he had a chocolate milk stain on his shirt and several colours of paint in his hair that wouldn’t come out. Finger painting and kids that liked grabbing hair did not mix well and he was nervous about meeting Erik like this. He didn’t know it yet, but he also had a pink handprint on the back of one his legs.

He didn’t have time to wash his hair or fix any of his appearance and he wished he had thought to bring an extra shirt to work with him. He was going to have to go to the coffee shop like this though, so he left his hair tied back and hoped Erik wouldn’t notice. He was sure he would though.

The paint was only made worse by the fact that after his first encounter with Erik, he’d found orange paint smeared on his neck when he had gotten to work. He’d been mortified then already, but it was worse that he had paint all over him again now. He’d have to make a conscious effort _not_ to go anywhere near paint before their next date. If they even had another one. Nicky was getting ahead of himself. He knew he should be worried about the date he was about to go on. Not imaginary future dates Erik probably wouldn’t want to go on after he figured out this was just how Nicky walked around all the time.

* * *

For some reason Nicky couldn’t imagine, when he walked into the coffee shop, Erik grinned at the sight of him. Maybe it was because Erik found his current appearance amusing or maybe it was because Erik was just really excited to get that coffee that he was owed.

It was just Nicky’s luck that his hair was hardened with paint and Erik looked impeccable in his dress pants and dress shirt with his sleeves rolled up. He was even wearing a tie. Nicky couldn’t imagine what Erik was voluntarily doing out in public with him.

As he walked over to where Erik was waiting, Nicky was already nervous because Erik was so nice last time and was so nice on the eyes and Nicky hadn’t realized that he had dimples before now and that was distracting enough that Nicky nearly walked into a waist level garbage can on his way over.

Erik laughed as Nicky approached him and asked, “Do you always walk around with paint on you?”

Nicky’s face got warm with embarrassment.

Erik must have realized because he stopped laughing. He was still smiling though and his voice sounded so interested as he asked, “Are you an artist?”

Nicky was even more embarrassed now. Erik sounded so much like he wanted Nicky to be an artist. It would be a good excuse for all the paint and it seemed like the answer Erik was hoping for, but Nicky wasn’t really. He used to make art back in high school, but that felt like forever ago and he didn’t have time to do anything besides work and look after the twins these days. He definitely was not the artist it seemed that Erik hoped he would be.

Nicky tried to laugh the question off as he told him, “Yeah. My finger paint rainbows are a real hit with the 3-5 year old crowd.” After a second, he thought to add, “I work at a daycare. It’s why I look like this.”

He gestured to himself and his heart hammered as Erik took a long look. His smile didn’t falter.

They got into line and Nicky was very aware of how close together they were standing. Erik’s arm was nearly brushing against his.

Erik commented, “I take it you like kids.”

“What tipped you off?” Nicky asked. “The fact that I have twins or that I work at a daycare?”

“Lot of people don’t like kids and have them anyway,” Erik pointed out. “Lots of people think their children are the exception and can’t stand anyone else’s. How old are your twins?”

“Six,” Nicky said as they moved up a spot in line.

Erik looked surprised. Nicky was used to that. He couldn’t really blame Erik considering he was twelve when the twins were born and was probably eleven when they were conceived.

“Andrew and Aaron are really my cousins, but my aunt was one of those people who didn’t like kids and had them anyway,” Nicky explained. “She didn’t think they were the exception.”

Erik looked at him like he thought that was impressive. Nicky didn’t feel very impressive. He felt like he was barely scraping by.

And yet, Erik sounded like he was in awe of Nicky as he asked, “So you just took them in?”

Nicky shrugged it off. “After Aunt Tilda died, they needed someone and the other options were my parents or them getting split up again and I wasn’t going to let either of those happen.

Erik still looked impressed. Nicky could hardly believe it.

When they got to the front of the line, they ordered their coffees and Nicky bought some food for each of them too. He was already buying Erik coffee so, of course, he was going to buy him food too when he was getting some for himself. Besides, after the embarrassing way they had first met, he wanted to prove that he could afford to buy them both food, even if that wasn’t _technically_ true. He would make it work though. He had to.

“Are you buying me more than a coffee so that we have to go on another date for me to repay you?” Erik asked. He was smiling still, so Nicky assumed it wasn’t a serious accusation and just laughed along with it.

When they got their coffees, they took them and their drinks over to a table together.

As they ate, Erik told Nicky about how he was from Germany and Nicky told him that he had always wanted to visit Germany.

Erik told him all about his favourite places back home that Nicky should go see if he ever went there. Nicky listened with interest, even though he was sure that he would never be able to afford to travel anywhere, let alone to another continent. He didn’t admit that out loud though. It was nice to pretend for a few minutes that maybe one day he could travel to Germany and see all the sights Erik was describing.

It was nice getting to have a conversation with another adult without any kids interrupting, as much as Nicky loved his twins and the kids from daycare. Erik was so interesting and Nicky was so smitten with him. He was embarrassed that he wasn’t as interesting as Erik. He was sure he must be boring Erik out of his mind. He spent most of the date wanting to cram his foot into his mouth because finally he had the chance to talk to an adult he didn’t work for and he could talk about adult stuff instead of kid stuff, except what kept coming out of his mouth was more and more parent talk about the twins. He kept blurting out more things about them and Erik was gracious enough to smile and nod anyway which somehow only made Nicky feel worse that he couldn’t come up with anything else to talk about.

Erik kept asking Nicky questions about himself, probably trying to get him to stop talking about six-year-olds, but Nicky kept accidentally tying his answers back to the twins because they were his life and it wasn’t like he had time for anything beyond looking after them and working to keep them all from starving to death or being homeless.

Nicky was making a conscious effort not to mention them anymore and yet he still couldn’t go more than a minute at a time without bringing them back up again. That was part of why he kept asking Erik so much about himself and about Germany. Nicky felt a bit bad that he was never going to get to go anywhere and that Erik had this whole big life and all Nicky had was an incessant need to talk about his children, but he tried to push that away and pay attention to Erik’s stories.

Even when Erik asked Nicky what he liked to do in his spare time, Nicky couldn’t come up with anything interesting. He just sputtered and faltered because he never _really_ had spare time. Even when he did, he didn’t do much because he was always so exhausted and he still had the twins to look after and he didn’t want to lose more time with them when he wasn’t at one of his jobs. So Nicky had no idea how to answer that question. Taking a nap, or reading with Aaron, or falling asleep watching a movie that kids couldn’t watch when they were asleep but inevitably falling asleep halfway through the movie anyway on those rare nights he didn’t work his second job didn’t seem like a great answer, but he didn’t know what else to say so that was what he told Erik anyway.

Nicky was so interested in Erik’s story about his family back in Germany that he lost track of time. By the time he thought to check the time on his phone again, it was already two minutes until he was supposed to back from his lunch break and his stomach dropped. He really couldn’t keep doing this to Wymack, so it looked like he was going to have to Cinderella out of their date.

He practically jumped out of his seat and it was clear from the look on Erik’s face that he was surprised by the abrupt exit.

Nicky grabbed what was left of his coffee off of the table and in a rush of words, he blurted out, “Sorry! This was really great and I really like you and if I haven’t scared you off already, then I’d really like to do this again, but I’ve gotta go because I’m already late!”

As he rushed out of the coffee shop, Nicky really hoped that Erik caught all that and that he hadn’t just totally embarrassed himself.

* * *

Nicky was still on Erik’s mind that evening. When he’d left in such a rush, Nicky’s words hadn’t totally registered to Erik until he was already gone, but Erik was glad that Nicky wanted to do this again sometime too.

Erik found Nicky utterly fascinating. He could hardly believe that Nicky had taken his cousins in the moment he could just to make sure that they were okay. Nicky had given away his life at eighteen to take in two children just to ensure they had a better life than what they’d had before. Erik admired Nicky so much for how hard he worked for his cousins and how he dropped everything for his family. Nicky was strong and brave and sweet and it was adorable how enthusiastic he got when he talked about his cousins and how flustered he got so quickly.

Erik really hoped that things would work out with Nicky. He didn’t want to be alone in America anymore and he really liked Nicky.

He wanted to text hm, but didn’t want to send anything too soon after the date. So for a few minutes, he held off. But then Erik remembered the twenty-three texts from Nicky he had woken up to that morning and he wasn’t so worried about coming on too strong or coming off as desperate anymore. So he typed a quick text to Nicky and sent it.

_I had fun at lunch today._

Nicky’s response came about twenty seconds later.

_me 2 :)_

* * *

When it was time for Nicky and the twins to leave daycare for the day, all the other kids were gone except for Neil who was sitting with Kevin and Andrew while Aaron sat a little ways off playing with Lego.

“His mom didn’t come for him again?” Nicky asked.

Wymack frowned and shook his head. “Nope.”

“Did you call her?” He asked.

Wymack nodded, then toldhim, “She’s not coming. I’ll take him back to my place again.”

Nicky knew that he couldn’t really judge Mary when he had no idea what her circumstances were and when he regularly had Wymack watch the twins for him for free during Wymack’s time off. Still, it was hard not to be a little indignant on Neil’s behalf as Neil sat and watched the door and waited for his mom to come once again when she wasn’t there to pick him up.

When she couldn’t pick him up on time for whatever reason that she wouldn’t share, Wymack took him home with him to play with Kevin until his mother could come and get him. It seemed that Mary was making it to daycare at the end of the day to pick Neil up less and less often lately and Nicky’s heart ached for the boy.

Nicky thought that it was going to be hard tearing Andrew away from Kevin, and now Neil, like it was at the end of most days. But when Nicky walked over to the twins to grab them, Andrew stood up unprompted.

“You promised ice cream,” Andrew said as he stared up at Nicky.

“I remember,” Nicky told him.

Andrew said nothing else, but he headed for the door and Aaron abandoned the Lego castle he had been building to follow him.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Nicky and the twins were standing in an ice cream shop.

“That one,” Andrew said and pointed to a picture of a giant sundae that looked like too much for an adult let alone a six year-old to finish.

“Are you sure?” Nicky asked. It was expensive and a lot of food and _a lot_ of sugar. “Don’t you think you’ll feel sick if you eat that whole thing?”

“I want one too,” Aaron decided.

“Maybe you could share,” Nicky suggested because that would be easier on his wallet and on the twins’ stomachs.

Andrew went tense. He turned his head up to look Nicky in the eye as he accused, “You said however much we want.”

Nicky sighed. He had said that and it was clear that Nicky’s promise was important to Andrew. So even though he wasn’t convinced it was good parenting and even though he had already spent too much at lunch earlier that day, he decided he would figure out a way to make it work. He’d find something else to cut back on for the month. After all, he had promised.

“Alright,” Nicky said. “You can get them.”

Nicky ordered two of the sundaes for the twins and nothing for himself. He didn’t need ice cream that badly and he couldn’t waste any more money on himself.

The sundaes were giant. Nicky doubted either of the twins were going to be able to finish them as he carried them over to one of the tables.

“Can I try a bite?” Nicky asked as they all sat down.

Andrew pulled his sundae closer to him and wrapped a protective arm around it. He stared at Nicky like he was sure he was going to try to rip it out of his hands as he said, “No.”

Nicky turned to look at Aaron. Surely, Aaron would be better at sharing.

Aaron frowned and looked between his sundae and Nicky for a moment as if he was torn, then his features hardened and he insisted, “Get your own.”

Nicky sighed. He wished he could.

“Never mind,” he said. “I don’t really want ice cream anyway.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N: I've updated my organization system for extras, so I'm adding author's notes to make things more clear.**
> 
> **I have extras written from other characters' points of view that give extra information and provide more context around other character's actions, thoughts, and situations since there is a lot going on beyond Nicky and Erik's points of view. They started off on tumblr, but now I'm posting them here. This fic is now part 1 of a series called Fox Daycare & Extras and if you go to that series, you can find Fox Daycare Extras there.**
> 
> **The first two extras were originally posted between when this chapter and chapter 5 were posted. Extra 1 is a look at Neil's home life and his dynamics with Kevin and Wymack from Neil's pov. Extra 2 is a look at Aaron's dynamic with Nicky with some context around why Aaron keeps cramming pictures in Nicky's pockets.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N: By the way, I have extras up for this fic posted as a separate fic called Fox Daycare Extras. You can find it by clicking on the series Fox Daycare & Extras that this story is a part of. Before this chapter, I posted the first two extras. One is from Neil's POV and the other is from Aaron's and links to this chapter (but it's not necessary to read it to understand the chapter).**

When Erik woke up on Friday, he rolled over and shut his alarm off right away. He checked his phone but there were no messages from Nicky yet. He knew Nicky would be up by now though. Nicky was always up later at night and earlier in the morning than him. Erik wondered how he did it. He could hardly stand getting up in the morning as it was.

Erik wasn’t too worried that Nicky hadn’t messaged him anything yet. Even though they’d only been on one date so far, they had been messaging every day when they had time in the mornings before work or on lunch breaks or when Nicky was between jobs and things weren’t too hectic.

Rocko had already jumped off the bed and had headed for the door, impatient for Erik to let him outside, so Erik forced himself out of the bed.

Nicky could wait. He’d let Rocko out and shower and feed them both, then he could worry about checking in with Nicky again. He wondered how texting Nicky had become so ingrained in his routine already.

* * *

Nicky had become a master at multitasking since he had adopted the twins. This morning, he was eating his cereal, making the twins’ notes, and watching them get their socks and shoes on at the same time. If he was really lucky, they might even be on time today.

Nicky scooped another spoonful of cereal into his mouth and then coloured Andrew’s arms black for the long-sleeved undershirts he insisted on wearing every day. This time, Nicky had drawn him on top of a play structure since it seemed to be Andrew’s favourite spot to play outside.

When he got a text, he set his pen down to check it and smiled to himself when he saw that it was from Erik.

_Good morning._

Nicky typed back a quick _morning_ then grabbed another spoonful of cheap imitation Frosted Flakes. He glanced over at the twins and saw Aaron was still trying to tie his shoe while Andrew rummaged through his backpack.

His phone buzzed again.

_How are you this morning?_

Nicky typed _busy_ with his left hand while he added the finishing touches to Andrew’s note.

_Too busy for me?_

The twins were almost ready and Nicky even had time to pour himself breakfast to scarf down after making the twins’ lunches. He already had one note done. He stuck it in the plastic bag he used as Andrew’s lunch kit and then turned his attention to his phone again. He had time for a quick break to talk to Erik.

_ur not getting rid of me that easy_

The response was almost immediate.

_Good._

_Does that mean we can go on another date soon?_

Nicky felt bad that he was too busy for Erik so much of the time. They still hadn’t gone on a second date yet. Part of that was that he was busy and didn’t want to lose more time with the twins. That didn’t mean that he couldn’t do another lunch date though.

He was just worried about what having regular dates would do to his schedule. He had to budget for the twins too, not just for himself, and there was no way that he was going to admit to Erik that he couldn’t afford to go out with him all the time. He did not want to be pitied. He did not want charity. He did not want to blow things before they even really started.

_idk_

_i want 2_

_but im so busy_

_sry_

Nicky stared down at his phone waiting for Erik’s response. He was terrified that Erik would be disappointed or get tired of waiting for him.

_I know._

_I just really want to kiss you._

_You left before I could last time._

Nicky’s heart fluttered in his chest. He really wanted to kiss Erik too. He was tempted to forget about money and forget about everything else and just set up another date. Nicky had kissed girls before while he was trying to convince his parents and himself that he could be the son they wanted him to be. He had never kissed another man. He had never wanted to kiss another man as much as he wanted to kiss Erik.

Nicky was brought back to reality by the sound of something falling.

When he looked up, Andrew was holding his backpack upside down and everything that had been in it before was on the floor now.

Nicky rushed over to clean it up as Andrew grabbed Aaron’s backpack and unzipped it.

“ _Stop_.” Nicky warned as Andrew started to overturn it.

“When are we leaving?” Andrew asked.

“In a few minutes,” Nicky promised.

Apparently, his answer wasn’t good enough because without a word Andrew spilled the contents of Aaron’s backpack all over the floor too.

“It’s going to take longer now,” Nicky muttered with a sigh as he bent to clean up Andrew’s mess.

He wondered when Andrew had decided that he wanted to go to daycare in the mornings. Somehow his impatience was nearly as bad as when he would do anything to avoid leaving the house in the morning.

Andrew just stood there staring at the mess he had made.

“You could help clean up your mess,” Nicky insisted.

Andrew blinked at him as if he had spoken in a different language. Aaron helped Nicky clean up.

When he managed to get all of their stuff back in their bags, Nicky rushed to grab their lunch bags before Andrew could get any more impatient and dump the bags out again or show his frustrations in even worse ways.

Nicky hadn’t finished his cereal, but at least he had eaten most of it. That was better than most mornings. He dumped the rest of it out in the sink. He’d clean it out later. For now, he just needed to get to work before Andrew got any more frustrated.

* * *

When the twins showed up at daycare after school, Nicky didn't realize that there was anything wrong at first. There were plenty of kids to watch and, as usual, plenty of problems to be solved.

He was rushing around breaking up arguments for twenty minutes before he went to stop Kevin and Allison from yelling at each other about who had grabbed a board game first anymore.

Just as Nicky made it to them, Andrew shoved Allison to the ground.

“Don’t touch me, freak!” Allison yelled as she got back up and brushed herself off.

Nicky stuck his arm in the way as Allison charged at Andrew. He knew it would not go well if she escalated this.

“Are you alright?” Nicky asked Allison.

“I’m fine,” Allison said. She gestured at Andrew as she added, “But clearly there’s something wrong with him.”

“Go play with your friends, Allison,” Nicky said.

“Kevin started it,” Allison insisted. “And Andrew just butted in when it’s not his business.”

“She started it,” Kevin argued. “She took the game out of my hands.”

“I don’t care who started it,” Nicky said. He turned his attention back to Allison and asked, “Can’t you go play with Dan?”

“Fine,” Allison said angrily. “I didn’t want to play your stupid game anyway. It’s for babies.”

Nicky watched her stomp off and really hoped that they would not be hearing about this from Allison's parents.

When he was sure that she wasn’t coming back, Nicky crouched down at Andrew’s level and insisted, "You can't just go around pushing people.”

"She said she was going to hit Kevin," Andrew said in a calm tone as if it was just a matter of fact. "So I hit her first."

"We don't hit people," Nicky said. "If she says she's going to hit him then you come get an adult."

"Adults don't help anything,” Andrew insisted. “She would have hit him before then anyway.”

Nicky felt sick. Then he realized that Aaron was not sitting with Kevin, Neil, and Andrew like usual and he felt even sicker.

"We'll talk about this more later," Nicky said because he wasn't really sure how to get through to Andrew right now and now he was worried about Aaron too. "Where's your brother?"

Andrew pointed in the direction of a tent they had set up for the kids to play in.

Nicky left Andrew and Kevin there, glad that they were at least separated from Allison now, and went over to check on Aaron. He never sat that far away from Andrew. Something must be up.

Nicky's suspicions were only confirmed when he sat down outside the tent far too small for him and poked his head in to find Aaron crying. Nicky had never actually seen Aaron cry before, although he had heard Andrew insist that he cried sometimes at night because he missed Tilda. It was a shock to see Aaron hiding by himself in tears. Nicky felt stupid for not realizing Aaron was off by himself earlier.

Aaron rubbed at his eyes and pulled his knees up so he could hide his face behind them when he saw Nicky.

"Aaron," Nicky said. "What's wrong?"

Aaron didn't say anything. Nicky really hoped he wasn't going to go back to not talking again.

"You don't want me anymore," Aaron said. His voice came out muffled by his arm.

"What are you talking about?" Nicky asked him. "Of course, I still want you."

Aaron sniffled and insisted, "But you didn't give me a note."

Nicky's heart wrenched. He tried to think back to that morning when he'd been trying to get so much done at the same time. He remembered working on Andrew's note and he remembered Erik texting then Andrew making a mess. He remembered rushing to get them out of there before Andrew got any more upset. He couldn't remember making Aaron's note.

Nicky was tearing up too now as he realized this was all his fault.

"I meant to write you a note," Nicky assured him. "I did. I just forgot, okay? But I'm sorry. I'm really _really_ sorry. I'll give you two notes on Monday. How about that?"

Aaron lifted his face and wiped at his wet eyes again.

"You don't want me anymore," he said again. "That's why you forgot. Because you like Andrew better."

Nicky felt utterly sick.

"Hey, that's not true," Nicky insisted. "I love you both. I still want you. I am _always_ going to want you. I love you so much. Just _please_ stop crying."

"My mom didn't want me," Aaron sniffled. "Andrew doesn't want me. Now you don't want me too."

Nicky had known that Andrew bossed Aaron around but had thought Aaron hadn’t seemed to mind too much. Nicky had known it was a problem but hadn't known how to fix it. Now, he knew that he needed to be much more worried about Andrew wanting Aaron around but refusing to play with him. He needed to be more worried about Aaron in general, even if Andrew was the one spilling things on purpose and knocking other kids over.

"That's not true," Nicky assured him. He steered completely clear of any talk of Tilda because he didn't want to lie to him and make him think how his mom treated him was healthy but he also didn't want to tell him that Tilda really had not wanted him. "I want you around and I always will. Andrew wants you around too. He just doesn't know how to show it."

Aaron's tears were slowing down a bit, but he still looked skeptical.

"What if I talk to Andrew and see if he'll let you play with them?" Nicky asked.

"It won't matter," Aaron said. "He'll say no."

"You don't know that," Nicky said. "You can't know what he'll say if we don't try."

"Fine," Aaron said. "But I'm staying here."

"I'll be right back," Nicky told him.

He really hoped that this would work. He felt awful about Aaron being so upset and about not seeing it earlier. He needed some kind of win to help cheer Aaron up.

* * *

When Nicky went back over to Andrew, he was knocking Kevin's pieces off of the Monopoly Jr. board.

"Andrew," Nicky said. "Aaron wants to play with you."

"So?" Andrew asked.

"So he's your brother," Nicky said. "And you never let him play with you."

"We're already playing," Andrew said. "And we don't want him to play. He can watch."

"I'm not asking," Nicky said, feeling more exhausted with Andrew than he had been in a long time. "You always make him just sit and watch. You never let him play. He's having a bad day. For once in your life can you just let Aaron be a part of your game?"

"I didn't make him have a bad day. It's not my fault that you didn't give him a note," Andrew pointed out with a cruel indifference. "You are the reason he's crying, not me."

Nicky couldn't believe that Andrew knew that his brother was crying and he knew why but he couldn't care less. He hadn't said a word to Nicky. He hadn't said a word to Aaron. He had just left Aaron to cry by himself while he played Monopoly with his friends. Andrew didn't even like Monopoly.

"What is wrong with you? Why can't you play with him like a normal brother?" Nicky snapped.

In one swift movement, Andrew stood up and kicked the Monopoly board at Nicky. All of the pieces went scattering. Kevin looked annoyed beyond belief. Neil was glaring at Nicky like it was his fault that Andrew had kicked the board over.

Maybe it was, but Nicky was too angry about how Andrew treated his brother to properly care at that moment. Andrew was being a brat and Nicky didn't have the patience for it when Andrew was being a brat at the expense of his already crying brother.

"You have to clean this up," Nicky tried, although he knew that telling Andrew he had to do anything was like telling the Earth to rotate the other way.

Andrew ignored him and stalked off into Bee's office, slamming the door behind him. Neil ran away from Nicky like usual the moment that Andrew was gone.

It was probably for the best that Andrew was with Bee so that at least one of them would calm down. Maybe, Nicky would calm down better too if he had a break from Andrew and his attitude. Still, Nicky couldn't understand how in the world he was the bad guy for just wanting the twins to ever play together.

"I don't care if Aaron plays," Kevin admitted when the others were both gone.

At least one of them didn't have a problem with Aaron spending time with them.

Nicky gave Kevin a nod of appreciation and then left him and the mess to go check on Aaron again.

* * *

"He said no, didn't he?" Aaron said the moment Nicky came back.

"Kevin says you can play Monopoly," Nicky tried.

"Andrew won't let me," Aaron said. "Neil won't either."

Aaron sounded particularly bitter about Andrew’s latest friend.

"Andrew is talking to Bee and Neil isn't playing with Kevin anymore," Nicky said.

“Kevin will get in trouble if he plays with me," Aaron said. “I will too.”

"Andrew doesn't get to choose who is allowed to play with you," Nicky said, although the evidence suggested otherwise. "You can play with Kevin. Or I bet Matt would let you play LEGO with him."

Aaron poked his head out of the tent and looked between where Matt was playing Lego and the closed door to Bee's office. When he leaned back again, Aaron shook his head no.

Nicky knew that Andrew wasn't letting Aaron play with anyone which only made Andrew's refusal to play with him even more frustrating. Aaron didn't have any friends because Andrew wouldn't let him have any friends and Aaron seemed more afraid to go against what Andrew wanted than he was to never get to play with anyone. Nicky knew that he was going to have to figure something out to deal with that in the long term, but trying to deal with any of this was already going poorly enough and Nicky needed to pick his battles and try to find something to cheer Aaron up for the moment.

"What if I play with you today?" Nicky asked.

Aaron perked up a little. He was making eye contact now instead of slumping and eying the floor.

"I still have to go make snack later and have to get up to fix problems, but I can play with you otherwise," Nicky offered.

"Okay," Aaron said and Nicky felt a wave of relief wash over him.

"What do you want to do?" Nicky asked.

"I want you to read me a book," Aaron said.

"Alright. Let's go pick one out."

When they left the tent, Neil was cleaning up the pieces that Andrew had sent scattering. Nicky didn't bother telling him to stop. Andrew wasn't going to clean up his own mess anyway.

* * *

Aaron was at least in a better mood when it was time to leave daycare, but he still seemed a bit off. He wouldn't look at Andrew when Andrew came over at home time. Andrew wouldn't look at Aaron and only looked at Nicky to glare at him. He refused to say a word to anyone but Kevin since Neil had already been picked up and Bee’s shift had ended half an hour ago.

Nicky felt bad about snapping at Andrew and frustrated with him at the same time. He didn't understand Andrew. He didn't know how to help him. He didn't know how to help Aaron. He didn't understand why the twins so badly wanted to spend time together but would never actually play together. Nicky had never had brothers, but he was sure that this could not be normal brother behaviour. Other siblings at daycare played together sometimes and got angry at each other sometimes, but they always got over it again. Other siblings sometimes played with other people. Andrew and Aaron never played together but they always sat in the same group Andrew had handpicked.

More than anything, Nicky hated Tilda for separating the twins. He couldn't help but wonder what the twins could have been like together if they had been raised together from the start.

Nicky didn't think that his day could get any rougher, but then he checked his phone before they left. He had a voicemail from four o'clock. It was from his parents' house. Nicky was terrified to open it, but he couldn't just leave it there and wonder what it said.

"What's wrong?" Wymack asked when he saw the look on Nicky's face.

"Nothing," Nicky said. "I just have a voicemail I need to listen to. Can you watch the twins for a minute?"

Nicky didn't want to open the voicemail in front of his boss or in front of the twins or Kevin. He had no idea what it was about and he had no idea how he was going to react. He felt sick just from seeing it, even though part of him was thrilled that they were trying to get in contact with him about anything.

Nicky hadn't spoken with his parents since he had taken the twins in and they had been done with him much before then. They didn't agree with his sexuality and didn't want anything to do with him. He couldn't keep tearing himself apart trying to be who they wanted him to be.

"Of course," Wymack said.

Nicky left him in charge of the twins and went to the staff room to listen to the voicemail.

He sat down and took a few deep breaths trying to get up his nerve. He didn't feel any braver afterward, but he couldn't stand the suspense so he opened the voicemail anyway.

""Nicky," his mother's voice said. "My son. I miss you."

Good thing Nicky hadn't listened to it in front of the twins. He'd already teared up in front of Aaron once today.

"We want to see how you are doing and how the boys are doing," his mother said. “Bring them to dinner next week. Thursday at seven. If you are seeing someone, you can bring her too. Call me back."

Nicky didn't miss the blatant hint that he should be dating a woman or the way him dating a man wasn't an option. That stung but at the same time, his mother missed him and that was something major. She wanted to see him again. Maybe, she wanted to be a part of his life again instead of just a ghost from his past.

He didn't know whether to go to dinner or not. He wanted to. More than anything, he wanted to go to dinner and have his parents miss him and love him and accept him as he was. He wanted them to be a part of the twins' lives and be proud of him for looking after them. But he was afraid of how it could go.

He was afraid of how they would treat the twins. He was afraid they would see how much he was struggling to keep them all afloat. He was afraid they would still have conditions to keep him in their lives. He was afraid he would take a night off of work when he couldn’t afford it and it would be a giant mistake.

It wasn't an invitation that he could answer now so he would have to think about it and call his mother back later.

His heart was screaming at him to accept the invitation, but it was hard to forget what it had been like around them before. He couldn’t ignore the fact that even if he and Erik had been on more than one date and had been together long enough for meeting parents to be anywhere in the realm of possibility that he would not be able to introduce Erik to them, even if his parents accepted him back into their lives.

Nicky put his phone back in his pocket and gave himself a minute to compose himself before he headed back out to get the twins.

"Everything alright?" Wymack asked.

"Yeah," Nicky said, although he still couldn't totally figure out if it was overwhelmingly good news or bad news. "Everything's great. My parents want me to come over for dinner next week."

Wymack looked a little uncertain about it too, but he didn't say anything.

Andrew's head whipped around to look at Nicky. It was the first time all afternoon that he had looked at Nicky without glaring at him. There was something else in his expression now, but Nicky couldn't read it. Aaron looked confused.

"I don't know if I'm going to go yet," Nicky said because it was too silent and Nicky wasn’t good with uncomfortable silences. "But this is the first time they've called me since I got the twins."

"If they want to fix things, that is great," Wymack said. "Just don't forget how things were before. You deserve better than that."

Nicky nodded, even more confused about what to do, and then turned his attention on the twins.

"Time to go." When Andrew didn't move right away, he added, "I'm making pizza tonight."

* * *

After work, Erik went out for drinks with coworkers like he did most Friday nights. He spent time with these people every week but he still didn’t feel particularly close to them. He didn’t really feel like he had much to talk to them about beyond work.

It was nice to have them for a distraction though, even if all their talk about their families and wives were just reminders that his family was half a world away and that his sister was engaged and he was an ocean away from all the excitement.

Nicky hadn’t texted Erik since morning. Erik knew that he was busy and he knew that they texted a lot for people who had only been on one date, but he couldn’t help but overthink the last texts he had sent before Nicky had gone radio silent.

_I just really want to kiss you._

Maybe he had pushed things too hard. He shouldn’t have tried to pressure Nicky into another date so soon. He should have toned it down. Nicky was way more busy than he was and he shouldn’t have made it seem like he couldn’t deal with that. He was afraid he’d screwed everything up.

Erik tried not to check his phone again as Chris and Jack laughed about how they wished they could hide out from their wives and kids like this for a few hours every night.

Erik didn’t laugh along. He didn’t find it overly funny.

“What? You must not be married,” Jack said as he nudged Erik’s shoulder. “You’re lucky. Never get married. You lose your balls as soon as you do.”

Erik felt sorry for Jack’s wife.

“Definitely lucky,” Chris agreed. “Stacy thought I was looking at another woman last weekend and she was pissed. But you can look all you want.”

Erik was wondering more and more why he voluntarily chose to come to drink with them. Their attitudes toward their wives were unbearable and he didn’t understand how they had gotten wives in the first place. He didn’t bother telling them that he didn’t look at women like that anyway.

It was a relief when his phone rang and he had an excuse to leave the conversation. It was an even bigger relief when he saw Nicky’s name on the screen.

“I’ve got to take this,” Erik said as he snatched his phone up off of the table and headed outside where he would hopefully be able to hear better.

* * *

After he dropped the twins off at Wymack’s place, Nicky called Erik and left his phone on speaker as he drove to work.

For a moment, he wasn’t sure that Erik was going to pick up, but then he answered, “Hello.”

“Hi,” Nicky said. “I’m the worst parent ever.”

He didn’t leave any pause for small talk. He just dove right into it. He had far too much on his mind and he needed to get some of it off of his chest. It was nice having someone to talk to. Usually, Nicky only had Wymack and he already unloaded way too much on him.

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Erik said.

“How would you know?” Nicky asked. “You don’t even know the twins. You haven’t seen me with them. For all you know I could let them play with knives.”

“I know you took them in so that they wouldn’t end up with someone worse and I know you care about them,” Erik said. “I have a hard time picturing you as the worst parent ever.”

“I forgot Aaron’s note,” Nicky said. “I write them notes for their lunches every morning but this morning I forgot Aaron’s.”

“You write them notes every day,” Erik pointed out. “They’re lucky. Forgetting once doesn’t make you a bad parent. It makes you human. I forget things all the time.”

“Aaron thought I didn’t want him anymore,” Nicky said with a sigh. “He was crying. These kids aren’t used to anyone wanting them around. It’s not just a forgotten note to him. And apparently, it’s worse than just thinking that I don’t want him. He thought I wanted Andrew and not him and that Andrew didn’t want him either so then I yelled at Andrew because he wouldn’t play with Aaron because he _never_ plays with Aaron and it didn’t help anything at all. One of them thought I hated him and the other probably hates me and Andrew won’t talk to me anymore and I _know_ this is a lot and I’m probably interrupting your night and we’ve only been on one date and I haven’t even asked you how your day went or what you’re up to and I’m sorry I’m dumping all of this on you it’s just been a long day.”

He didn’t mention his parents and the voicemail because they had only been on one date and he didn’t need to rant to Erik about his kids and his parents all in the same phone call. Besides, he wasn’t sure he wanted to think or talk about his parents right now. He still didn’t know what he was going to do about that voicemail yet.

“It’s alright,” Erik said. “You sound like you needed to talk to someone and I’m glad I qualify to be that person. I needed a break anyway. I’m at a bar with some guys from work and they cannot stop talking about how awful it is being married and complaining about their wives. I needed an excuse to get away from it for a few minutes.”

Nicky let out a weak laugh, glad for the distraction. “Why do straight people get married if they hate it so much?”

“I don’t know,” Erik agreed with a chuckle. “I’ve been asking myself the same thing.”

There was a silence and Nicky felt the weight of how he had been dodging Erik in his silence. He felt the weight of how much he wanted to see him again in person. He wanted to make him laugh and watch him tilt his head back from the force of it again.

“I really do want to go out with you again,” Nicky said after a pause because he didn’t want Erik to think that he was trying to brush him off. “And I _really_ want to kiss you. You have no idea how much I want to kiss you.”

Nicky was still worried about money and about the twins but Erik was worth it. Nicky had been putting the twins ahead of everything since he had gotten them and there was no chance in hell he was going to push them aside now, but maybe it was time that he tried to figure out how to have something for himself too. He wasn’t sure that he was any good to any of them wearing himself so thin all the time. Like Wymack had said, he really did need some time to talk to adults too.

“I can’t do anything during the weekend,” he said because the weekend was the only time that he got to stay home with the twins all day. “But I can probably at least do lunch again sometime next week. If that works for you.”

“That definitely works for me,” Erik said and Nicky could almost hear the smile in his voice. He wished he could see it. Erik had the nicest smile he had ever seen and those dimples haunted Nicky’s dreams.

Nicky wished that he had more time to talk to Erik but he couldn’t afford to be late for work and he was already pulling into the parking lot far too soon.

“I have to go to work again,” Nicky said in a defeated tone. “But we can figure out a day later. I’ll text you on my break.”

“I can’t wait,” Erik said. Nicky couldn’t tell if he meant for the date or Nicky’s break. Either way, Nicky felt the same.

* * *

Erik walked back into the bar with a weight lifted off his shoulders. Nicky wasn’t avoiding him. Nicky wanted to see him again. He hadn’t blown it after all.

“You rushed off pretty fast,” Jack said. “Was that a girl?”

“Did you see his face when his phone started ringing?” Chris asked. “It was definitely a girl.”

“No,” Erik said. “It was a guy I’ve been seeing.”

Erik hadn’t kept his sexuality a secret from the people in his life for a long time. If these guys had a problem with it, it would just be an easy excuse not to spend time with them outside of work anymore.

“Well, sort of seeing,” Erik amended. “We’ve only really been on one date but we talk a lot and we’re going on another one.”

“Oh,” Chris said. “What’s his name?”

“Nicky,” Erik told them.

“You must like him a lot if you jump to answer his calls like that,” Jack said.

“Well, I’m not hiding out at a bar complaining about him, so…” Erik trailed off and then wondered if that dig had been a mistake but they just laughed.

“You know we don’t mean all that stuff,” Chris said. “It’s just after a long week sometimes we need a chance to unwind away from the screaming kids and vent a little.”

Erik still wasn’t sure how he felt about them. Maybe it was just the high he was on now that he was going to get another date with Nicky, but he thought maybe he had been a bit quick to judge them.


	6. Chapter 6

Erik was worn out from his late night the night before. He had stayed up later than he meant to, waiting for Nicky to text on his break. Erik had a lunch meeting on Monday, but Nicky had agreed to meet up at the same coffee shop on Tuesday. Erik could hardly wait. He was tired, but he couldn’t make himself regret staying up late waiting for Nicky’s texts.

Unfortunately, Rocko wouldn’t let him sleep in for more than twenty minutes before he started barking. When Erik tried to roll over and go back to sleep, Rocko jumped on the bed and coated his face in slobber. Erik wasn’t really interested in having his German shepherd’s tongue down his throat, so he pushed him off and reluctantly sat up.

“Alright, alright,” Erik said as Rocko nudged at his ankles. “Give me a second.”

Erik wondered how Nicky’s morning was going after his rough day the day before so he sent Nicky a text and then got out of bed. Nicky didn’t text back right away like he usually did, so Erik figured Nicky was probably sleeping in on his morning off. He hoped that was true. Nicky could definitely use the rest.

Rocko’s patience was non-existent and he was whimpering on the floor, pretending like Erik hadn’t fed him or let him out weeks, so Erik got up and walked to the door to let him outside.

* * *

Saturday morning, Andrew still hadn’t started talking to Nicky again.

They were running low on cereal and on milk. Nicky ended up with half a bowl of crumbs from the bottom of the cereal bag without any milk, but it was fine. At least it was Saturday so they could go grocery shopping after breakfast.

Nicky’s phone buzzed on the table and for a moment he was afraid that it would be his mother again. Even though he had made up his mind about whether or not he was going to go to dinner, he still felt on edge since he had gotten her voicemail. It was just Erik though and Nicky was surprised Erik was up so early after he had been out drinking the night before.

_Morning. Are things any better with the twins today?_

Nicky smiled to himself, glad that Erik was interested in how things were going and not completely over how much Nicky talked about the twins.

The twins were both done their cereal and Andrew had just finished slurping down his milk, so Nicky told them, “Go get ready.”

For a moment neither said anything, but then Andrew nudged Aaron under the table and Aaron asked, “Why?”

“We need groceries,” Nicky said. “We’re going shopping.”

Andrew must not have hated that idea because he got up and left the table. Aaron followed right after him.

Once they were out of the room, Nicky pulled up his parents’ number on his phone. He hoped that his mom would answer. He didn’t think he was ready to talk to his father yet and he knew that his father would be angry if he answered and Nicky hung up on him.

The twins could take forever to get ready when they wanted to, but Nicky knew his time frame was limited. He didn’t need the twins coming back while he was on the phone so he sucked it up and hit the call button.

The phone rang three times before anyone picked up and, for a moment, Nicky thought he would luck out and be able to leave a message that he was coming instead of actually having to speak to one of them. Then his mother’s voice said, “Hello?”

“Hi Mom,” Nicky said. He was surprised he managed to get any words out.

“Nicky!” His mother said and the excitement in her voice was enough to make Nicky tear up all over again. “Are you coming to dinner on Thursday?”

“Yes,” Nicky said.

“Great,” his mother said. “We will see you then.”

Then she hung up on him. Just like that. The conversation was over before it had even really started. Nicky didn’t know why he felt so disappointed. He had called to tell her he was going and he had.

He sighed and went back to his conversation with Erik as he went to get ready.

_morning_

_andrew still wont talk 2 me_

* * *

Aaron stood on the front of the cart and rode around like that as they moved through the grocery store. He never asked Nicky to buy him anything, but Nicky couldn’t help but notice the longing look Aaron gave the sugary treats and toys in the store. Sometimes, Aaron even went over to look at something but he always came right back to the cart as soon as he noticed Nicky watching him.

Andrew, on the other hand, walked beside the cart and was much less shy about what he wanted. He still had not said a word to Nicky, but Andrew kept grabbing things off of shelves and shoving them in the cart whether Nicky was watching him or not. Whenever Nicky took the Oreos or Cocoa Puffs or toys out of the cart, Andrew would knock things off of shelves to get back at Nicky.

Nicky hated that they couldn’t afford the name brand sugary cereals he and the twins wanted. He hated that they couldn’t afford the fancy toys the twins wanted. He wished that he could give the twins _something_ extra but they needed to be able to pay their rent.

When Andrew put the chocolate ice cream back in the cart for the third time in a row, Nicky ducked down to his level and insisted, “Andrew, _please._ Stop _._ We can’t afford it.”

Andrew flinched and then spoke to Nicky for the first time since the disaster when Nicky had snapped at him. “I don’t like that word.”

“Which word?” Nicky asked.

Andrew just stared back at him.

“Please?” Nicky asked.

Andrew flinched again. “Say it again and I’ll kick you. Hard.”

“Okay,” Nicky said. “I won’t use it anymore.”

He didn’t want to think about why Andrew hated that word. He wasn’t about to ask and he didn’t want to say anything to make Andrew flinch like that again. It was progress at least that Andrew was telling him what he could do to help him, or at least not make the damage any worse.

“But no ice cream,” Nicky said. “Not today. We can’t afford it right now. I promise I’ll get some when we can though.”

Andrew blinked up at him. He didn’t argue or put the ice cream back in the cart so Nicky took that as a win, even if Andrew did grab a container of ice cream just to drop it on the floor.

* * *

Monday, after school, Nicky was watching the kids who had chosen to play outside. Andrew was up on the play structure watching Neil and Kevin race down the slides. Aaron was in his usual spot by the fence, or at least he had been last time Nicky looked, but when Nicky turned back to make sure that Aaron was alright he had lost sight of him all over again.

Panic set in immediately. Nicky searched the playground, but there was no sign of Aaron. Nicky’s heart was pounding out of his chest. How had he lost Aaron?

He glanced back over at the fence and saw him. Aaron was halfway down the street, talking to the little girl Nicky had seen dropping her rocks through the fence for him.

Nicky rushed out of the gate without a second thought, needing to get Aaron and bring him back as fast as he could. Technically, he shouldn’t be leaving the backyard, but he needed to get Aaron back.

As he ran down the sidewalk, Nicky was surprised to see that Aaron was actually talking to the girl. She was playing outside with her older sister. The girl looked about Aaron’s age and was showing him how to play their game.

Nicky was in awe that Aaron had made a friend and he didn’t understand how or why Aaron’s friend had to be someone outside of daycare, but he didn’t have time to worry about it.

“Aaron!” Nicky said when he made it to the driveway and Aaron looked mortified as he turned and saw Nicky.

Nicky grabbed Aaron’s hand. He needed to get back to the daycare. He couldn’t do anything to protect the other kids from there. He didn’t have time to figure out what was going on there.

Aaron dragged his feet and stared back at the girl as Nicky dragged him away.

The girl waved and Aaron waved back with his free hand. Nicky tugged him harder and Aaron turned away from the girl and rushed to keep up with Nicky.

When they got back inside the yard and Nicky closed the gate, he crouched down at Aaron’s level, still holding his hand. He crushed Aaron against his chest. Aaron didn’t hug back, but he didn’t pull away either.

“Aaron, you can’t do that,” Nicky insisted as he pulled back to look at Aaron’s face. He knew his voice was coming out too angry, but Aaron had terrified him. “You can’t just run off. Anything could have happened! You scared the hell out of me.”

Aaron flinched. He wouldn’t look at him and he started crying.

Twice in one week, Nicky had made Aaron cry. He had thought that Aaron wasn’t a cryer, but how wrong he had been.

Nicky held back the rest of his lecture at the sight of Aaron’s tears as he pleaded, “Just please don’t do run off again, okay? I couldn’t take it if anything happened to you. You’re way too important to me. I need you safe all the time. I’m sorry I pulled you away from your friend, but you have to stay here. It’s not safe to wander off by yourself.”

The last thing Nicky wanted to do was blow it when Aaron was risking making a friend instead of letting Andrew keep him from playing with anyone, but he couldn’t just leave Aaron outside of daycare playing with a complete stranger either.

Nicky dug around in his pockets and eventually found a piece of candy. Sometimes, when Andrew was particularly uncooperative, Nicky could bribe him with candy so he tried to carry some whenever he could.

“Here,” Nicky said. “You can have this candy if you stop crying and stay inside the gates. Okay?”

Aaron nodded and took the candy. He was still sniffling, but he managed to calm down some while sucked on it. He stalked off from Nicky and went back to sit on his own by the fence and Nicky felt guilty about it but that was the best he could do for now.

* * *

When Nicky arrived at the coffee shop on Tuesday, Erik was waiting outside for him, leaning against his car this time. Nicky had been planning on checking his reflection before he went in but so much for that plan. At least the kids hadn’t been anywhere near paint that morning so there was no way that Nicky could have paint on him for the third time in a row around Erik.

Nicky stepped out of his car and beamed at the sight of Erik. He was so damn hot and he was all dressed up for work again and it was making Nicky weak in the best kind of way.

Erik smiled back and walked over to him with his hands in his pockets. When he reached Nicky, he took his right hand out of his pocket and ran his fingers through Nicky’s hair.

Nicky’s heart hammered in his chest.

“No paint today,” Erik commented in an amused tone.

Nicky was mortified, but it was worth it to feel Erik’s fingers in his hair and see those dimples again. It was worth it to have Erik so close that he could smell his woodsy cologne. Erik smelled like man and Nicky could hardly bear the proximity without getting ahead of himself and kissing Erik on the spot. He didn’t want to come on too strong though. After all, they had just gotten there.

But then Erik’s hand tucked Nicky’s hair behind his ear and moved to Nicky’s chin to angle it up toward him. Nicky’s heart was beating so fast that part of his mind wondered if he needed to seek out medical attention. That thought vanished the moment Erik’s lips met his though. His heart could beat right out of his chest and Nicky wouldn’t care.

This was Nicky’s first kiss with a man and it was even better than he had imagined it would be and that certainly was not for lack of imagining. This was nothing like kissing girls had been like the few times that he had forced himself to try it out.

Nicky had to tilt his head back to reach Erik’s lips. Erik was so damn tall. Nicky wasn’t short, but Erik towered over him in the best way. Erik’s hand was rough and strong against his jaw as he held Nicky right where he wanted him. His other hand was so warm as it gripped Nicky’s hip while they kissed. Nicky clung to Erik’s hair and shoulder in return like if he held on tight enough, this kiss could last forever.

Erik’s scent was overpowering at this proximity. Nicky didn’t ever want to stop smelling him. He wanted to bottle up his scent and keep it forever.

It was clear from the way that Erik kissed that this was not the first time he had kissed another man. Nicky relished in his experience and felt his cheeks getting hot. If his parents could see him now, kissing another man out in the open outside a busy coffee shop in the middle of the day, they would have had simultaneous heart attacks. Nicky couldn’t make himself give a damn.

All too soon, Erik pulled back to come up for air. He stayed standing just as close. The hand on Nicky’s hip stayed while his other shifted back over into Nicky’s hair. Erik was smiling that dazzling smile and Nicky had a sudden impulse to kiss Erik’s dimples. He held off for now though because his head was swimming and this was still the beginning of their second date. He didn’t want to do anything to make himself look stupid or show off his inexperience.

“I told you I wanted to kiss you,” Erik said. “I had to make sure you wouldn’t run off before I could again.”

“Who run off?” Nicky asked. “Me? Never. Not from that. We should definitely do more of that.”

Nicky felt like an idiot for his words, but Erik just let out a delighted laugh.

“There will definitely be more of that,” Erik assured him. “But we came here to eat, remember?”

“Oh yeah,” Nicky said. “Food. That’s a thing we should get.”

It was hard to think with Erik’s hands still on him and it was an awful thing when Erik pulled them away and took a step back from him. But then as they walked towards the entrance, Erik laced their fingers together ever so casually.

Nicky stared down at their intertwined hands in awe. Erik left their hands like that as they stood in line and Nicky had a hard time focusing enough to decide what he wanted when Erik asked. Erik’s hand was just so big and warm and his grip was so strong. Nicky didn’t have to worry about holding on to it too tight.

“You don’t have to pay,” Nicky said, although in all honesty it really would help his wallet and his ability to pay rent.

“Don’t be stupid,” Erik said. “You paid last time. I’ve got this.”

Nicky thanked him and when they got to the front of the line, he mumbled out his order. Erik didn’t retract his hand from Nicky’s until it came time to pay, but as soon as his wallet was back in his pocket, he grabbed onto Nicky’s hand again. Even when their food and coffees came, Erik took the tray with their coffees and let Nicky grab the food.

Nicky felt an ounce of regret when they made it to the table and Erik let his hand go so that they could eat.

“How is your week going so far?” Erik asked as they sat down.

“Aaron sort of maybe made a potential friend and Andrew’s talking to me again occasionally. So better,” Nicky said and then he realized that his answer said more about the twins than it did about him. “Sorry, you wanted to know about me, not them. I’m alright, I guess. A little nervous. How about your week? How has it been?”

“Mostly full of boring routine work stuff and boring routine lunch meeting,” Erik said. “I mean, I love my job, but it doesn’t exactly make for riveting conversation.”

Nicky had a feeling that Erik could make any topic riveting.

“But things are looking up now that I’m on a date with a very cute and very busy guy who made time for me,” Erik said and then took a sip of his coffee. “…So I make you nervous?”

Nicky’s cheeks got warm again.

“What?” Nicky asked. “I didn’t say that.”

“You said you are a little nervous,” Erik said. “About me?”

“No,” Nicky said as he picked at his sandwich. “Well, yes. Kind of. I don’t want to screw this up so okay yes definitely nervous but that’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?” Erik asked.

“Well,” Nicky said. “I’m having dinner with my parents on Thursday. They just invited me out of nowhere. Before that, they hadn’t spoken to me since I took the twins in. And, even before that, they were long done with me. They wanted me to be straight and I nearly killed myself trying to make myself into the son they wanted until I couldn’t do it anymore. They shut me out of their lives and I missed them but I figured out how to live without them. And now they want me to come for dinner and I don’t know. I want things to be better. I want them to be alright with me as I am. I’m just afraid that’s not what this is.”

Nicky wasn’t sure why he was admitting all of this to Erik. A voice in the back of his head said he should stop showing how easily he had made time for his parents after making it so difficult to make time for Erik.

“If your parents cannot accept you for who you are, then that is on them. Not you,” Erik told him. “I think you’re pretty amazing how you are, but I hope that they have changed their minds.”

“Thanks,” Nicky said. “But how about you? How did your parents take it when you told them?”

“They’ve always been supportive,” Erik said. “I don’t know that I ever really told them though. When I was thirteen, I asked to have a date over for dinner and then came home with a guy from school. That made it pretty easy for them to figure out.”

Nicky was glad that Erik’s family had been more supportive than his, but he envied Erik for that at the same time.

“Is your family all back in Germany?” Nicky asked.

“Everyone but Rocko,” Erik said.

“Rocko’s your brother?” Nicky asked.

Erik shook his head no. “I’ve only got a sister. Well, for now. I guess I’ll have a brother in law pretty soon. Rocko is my dog. He keeps me from getting too lonely with everyone so far away… And he keeps me from sleeping in ever.”

Nicky let out a laugh and then confessed, “I’m pretty sure Aaron’s been dropping hints he wants a dog. He keeps drawing pictures of dogs and leaving them in my pockets. I swear I probably have at least three dog drawings on my person right now.”

“Hmm,” Erik said. “Well, maybe one day the twins can come meet Rocko.”

Nicky was a little stunned that Erik was bringing up the possibility of someday down the line potentially meeting the twins, especially so early in whatever it was that they were at that point.

“They don’t really do well with new people,” Nicky said. “Or with people in general, really. Especially new ones. But maybe someday.”

Erik grinned like that idea appealed to him greatly.

“I’d like to meet them when you think they’re ready,” Erik said.

“Really?” Nicky asked doubtfully. He loved his cousins, but it wasn’t like he hid what a handful they were from Erik.

“They’re important to you,” Erik said. “I’d like to put faces to their names.”

* * *

Nicky nearly lost track of time on their date again, but he had set an alarm on his phone this time so that he wouldn’t be late back again.

When his alarm went off, Nicky frowned and said, “I have to go.”

He had no desire to leave Erik so soon.

“I should get back to work too,” Erik said as he glanced at the time on his own phone. He didn’t sound much more eager than Nicky felt. “I’ll walk you out.”

They got up and cleared off their table and then Erik grabbed Nicky’s hand on the way out again.

When they made it to Nicky’s car, Erik kept his hand in Nicky’s and pulled him in for another kiss. Nicky forgot all about work and not wanting to let Wymack down again. He forgot about everything but _Erik Erik Erik_.

When Erik pulled away again, Nicky let out an involuntary and mortifying little whine without thinking.

Erik smiled and gave him another peck on the lips before resting his forehead against Nicky’s.

“I know,” Erik said. “Believe me, I would love to stand here all day kissing you but we have jobs to get back to.”

“I hate jobs,” Nicky said, although he actually really did like working at the daycare most of the time. Just not when it was getting in the way of kissing his dream man. His head was all floaty from Erik’s kissing and he wanted more of it. “We definitely need to do more of this. So much more of it. You’re a really good kisser.”

“So are you,” Erik said, although Nicky had a hard time believing him. Nicky felt a surge of disappointment as Erik took his forehead from Nicky’s and took a step back. “Go to work, Nicky. There will be more kisses next time.”

_Next time_. Nicky could hardly wait. He was floating too high to care about anything else. There would definitely be a next time. He would make it happen.

Nicky stole one more kiss anyway, although Erik didn’t seem to mind. He let go of Erik’s hand after and said, “Okay, there. Now I can go. See you next time.”

Nicky opened the car door before he could change his mind and make himself late.

“Good luck on Thursday,” Erik said and then he walked off to his car and Nicky was alone in his own, feeling just a little bit invincible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N: I've updated my organization system for extras, so I'm adding author's notes to make things more clear.**
> 
> **I have extras written from other characters' points of view that give extra information and provide more context around other character's actions, thoughts, and situations since there is a lot going on beyond Nicky and Erik's points of view. They started off on tumblr, but now I'm posting them here. This fic is now part 1 of a series called Fox Daycare & Extras and if you go to that series, you can find Fox Daycare Extras there.**
> 
> **There are four more extras up that were posted before next chapter. One from Andrew's pov when they go grocery shopping that tells you more about Andrew's dynamic with Nicky at this point, one from Wymack's pov that centres around a conversation he and Nicky have after Nicky's second date with Erik, one from Aaron's pov that gives you more background on Aaron's budding friendship with Katelyn and what was going on in his head when he was crying while Nicky told him how worried he was, and one from Andrew's pov that gives you more background and context around his dynamic with Bee.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N: Heads up that the dinner at Nicky's parents' house happens somewhere in the middle of this chapter. There's no Drake kind of thing there or anything, but Luther and Maria are still canon compliant homophobic.**

Erik usually went to bed early, but when he had a Skype call scheduled with his family during the week, he ended up staying up late and they ended up getting up early as a sort of compromise where neither was _too_ overtired but neither was up when they normally would be.

That was the case Tuesday night, when Erik stayed up late waiting for the call he and his sister had scheduled. It was the first time he was actually going to get to see her face while talking to her since he had found out that she was engaged. Rocko didn’t seem thrilled that Erik was staying up late and laid at his feet instead of going to bed without him.

When her call finally came, Erik answered it and greeted, “Congratulations on the fiancé.”

“You better be coming to my wedding,” Mia warned him. “Are you bringing a date or should I ask around to find you one?”

“I don’t know,” Erik said. “But don’t ask around.”

He didn’t need someone to give him a pity date as a favour to the bride. He hadn’t been seeing Nicky for that long, but he didn’t want his sister looking for other dates for him. Besides, even if things didn’t work out with Nicky it wasn’t like a date with a man who lived on a different continent would be likely to have much of a future.

Mia grinned knowingly and said, “Oh, so there is someone.”

“Maybe,” Erik said. “I hope so, but who knows? I’ve been seeing a guy, but it’s still new. I like him, but we only just had our second date and your wedding is months off.”

“What’s his name?” Mia asked. “How did you meet him?”

“Nicky,” Erik said. “He was in line in front of me at a store and didn’t have enough money to pay because his kid stole his wallet so I paid the rest for him.”

“He has a _kid_?” Mia asked.

“Two actually,” Erik corrected.

“How old is he?” She asked. “How old are they?”

“He's eighteen. They're six.”

“Whoa,” Mia said. “So he had twins at what? Twelve?”

“They’re adopted,” Erik said.

“Well, clearly someone really wanted kids if he adopted two at eighteen,” Mia commented.

“They’re his cousins,” Erik explained. “Their mom died and he didn’t want them going into foster care or ending up with his parents.”

“Oh, so he’s a hero type, dropping everything for those he cares about,” she said. “Sounds dreamy.”

“He is,” Erik said. “And adorable. And very busy. But we text a lot still. Did I tell you that the first time he texted me, I woke up to twenty-three texts from him? He can text me twenty times in a row like it's nothing but he gets flustered over the littlest things.”

“Two kids though,” Mia said. “That's a lot. I mean I know you want kids, but you’re just diving right in, huh?”

“I haven’t even met them yet,” Erik said. “It’s not like they’re my kids.”

“But they could be, right?” She asked. “If everything goes well between you two.”

“I guess so,” he admitted. "Eventually."

“Does that freak you out?” She asked.

“I don’t know,” Erik admitted. “They sound like a handful, but that’s how kids are, isn’t it? And it’s not like I’m just suddenly going to have two kids tomorrow. Maybe, I’ll be more worried when I actually meet them. If I do.”

“I can’t believe I got engaged and you decided to one-up me by becoming a stepdad,” she said with a laugh.

“I’m not a stepdad,” Erik insisted. “And you still have to tell me how Michael proposed.”

* * *

On Wednesday, when the rest of the kids had already left daycare, Nicky watched the twins and Kevin grab their stuff from their cubbies while the dread sank in as he realized that the same time the next day, he would be rushing the twins home to get ready for dinner at his parents’ house.

“You alright today?” Wymack asked. “Yesterday you were all hopped up from your date and today you seem- I don’t know. Distracted. And not in a good way.”

Nicky checked to make sure the twins were still a safe distance away before he admitted, “I’m just nervous about tomorrow night.”

“You decided to go to dinner with your parents?” Wymack asked.

“Yeah,” Nicky said. “I don’t know if I made the right choice or not, but I’m worried about how much I want this to go well.”

Andrew had finished getting ready and pulled his backpack on as he walked over.

“I know how lonely it can be on your own all the time,” Wymack said. “Just don’t forget what you’re worth.”

Nicky knew from experience that was much easier said than done around his parents.

“I’ll try,” he said. “Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me,” Wymack said. “I’m not telling you anything you wouldn’t already know if you’d had half-decent parents.”

* * *

That night, Nicky left the twins watching cartoons as he went to wash the dishes in the sink because he still couldn’t afford to get the dishwasher fixed. He was about halfway done and scrubbing harder than was probably necessary to try to get out some of his nervous energy when he heard a voice behind him.

“Nicky.”

He turned around and grinned when he saw that it was Andrew who had sought him out and not Aaron. Part of the smile was to hide how stressed he was and part was because Andrew had gone through the effort of coming to get him and getting his attention to talk to him. Andrew didn’t usually seek him out of his own accord. He didn’t ask for help or make small talk with Nicky and whatever this was seemed like a big step.

“What’s up, bud?” Nicky asked.

“What do you think of Bee?” Andrew asked.

Nicky was surprised by the question. He hadn’t known that his opinion of Bee mattered to Andrew. He hadn’t known his opinion about anything mattered to Andrew.

“I think she’s great,” Nicky said cautiously. He wasn’t sure if Andrew was asking because something had happened in Bee’s office today and he didn’t want to answer too strongly if Andrew was looking to confide in him. “You like her too. Don’t you? She’s been helping, hasn’t she?”

Nicky had thought that things had been going well and that Andrew liked Bee. She seemed to understand him better than he could, but Nicky was very aware that it was strange for Andrew to ask him questions about her like this.

Andrew ignored Nicky’s question like usual.

“If you like her, you should ask her over for dinner,” Andrew said.

“Maybe we could have her over some time,” Nicky said because he wasn’t about to turn down Andrew wanting to have someone over, even if that person was an adult he trusted instead of a friend his own age. But then Nicky realized what Andrew meant and wished he could take his answer back. “Oh, do you mean like a date?”

“You said you like her,” Andrew pointed out and Nicky almost burst into laughter. He might have if he wasn’t so worried about how having this conversation with Andrew would go.

“I like her as a friend and a coworker and someone who helps you,” Nicky said. “But not like that. She’s not my type, Andrew. I like boys like that. Not girls.” There was a moment of silence and Nicky was worried about how Andrew would react. He wasn’t reacting at all and the silence was getting to him, so Nicky asked, “Is that alright with you?”

He knew that Andrew’s opinion of it wouldn’t change anything, but he couldn’t bear the thought of the twins looking at him with the same disgust his parents did.

“You don’t have to date Bee,” Andrew said.

“Maybe we can have dinner with her sometime as friends when we can afford it,” Nicky suggested. He was still glad that Andrew had someone he trusted enough to want over for dinner, but he knew he had to worry about their budget and he didn’t want to invite Bee over for Kraft Dinner.

Andrew walked back out of the kitchen without a word. Nicky couldn’t tell if Andrew believed he really was willing to invite Bee over or not.

* * *

Nicky decided not to tell the twins that they were going to his parents’ place for dinner until they got home from daycare on Thursday and it was time to get ready. He figured that advanced warning would just give them more time to plan a rebellion and he didn’t need them to be a united front against him when he was trying not to show up late.

They were two steps into the apartment when Nicky said, “I need you two to let me help you get ready. We’re going to have dinner with my parents and we can’t be late.”

Andrew sat down on the floor right where he was in resistance and crossed his arms over his chest. Aaron glanced from Andrew to Nicky and then back at Andrew again before he sat down cross-legged next to his brother. At least he didn’t have his arms stubbornly crossed, but so much for them not presenting a united front.

Nicky sighed and crouched down. “I know you don’t want to go, but it’s only one meal and then you get to come home.”

Part of Nicky wanted to use this as an excuse to cancel, but most of him was worried that the twins were going to make him late and have an attitude from the start of the night.

“I’m not going,” Andrew said with a glare.

“What if I make you a deal?” Nicky asked. “You two let me get you ready and stay on your best behaviour while you’re there and you get something after. What do you want?”

The twins considered a moment. Aaron looked to Andrew. Andrew thought it over and Nicky was starting to think he wasn’t going to get any answer at all when Andrew said, “We want to go trick or treating on Halloween.”

Aaron whipped his head around to Nicky, waiting for his answer like it was a mystery what he would say.

Nicky was taken aback by the request. It seemed like a waste of a deal to him.

“That’s it?” Nicky asked and the twins nodded their heads. “Of course you can go trick or treating. I was going to take you either way.”

Both of the twins looked confused. Neither said anything.

“Haven’t you ever been trick or treating before?” Nicky asked.

Both of them shook their heads no.

“Really?” Nicky asked. “ _Never?_ ”

The twins blinked back at him. Nicky’s heart hurt that the deal was that easy and that the twins really thought they were setting the bar high by asking him to take them trick or treating.

“We are going to go to so many houses and get you so much candy on Halloween,” Nicky assured them. “Now can we go get ready?”

They considered for a moment and then Andrew nodded his head and stood up. Aaron stood up a moment after him.

Nicky led the twins to their room and dug through the dresser. He wished he had something really nice for them to wear, but he settled for having them change into a couple of clean shirts without any stains on them.

Andrew kept his long-sleeved black shirt on underneath a faded grey t-shirt. Nicky got Aaron to change into a clean t-shirt with a hole in it that he kept forgetting to mend, but there wasn’t time to deal with the hole then. It was on the armpit and little anyway so Nicky figured his parents probably wouldn’t notice.

When the twins were ready, Nicky thought they looked pretty good.

“I need to shower,” Nicky said because there was no way he was going to his parents’ house with applesauce still stuck in part of his hair. “You two stay here and watch TV. Don’t make a mess. I’ll be right back.”

Nicky showered as quickly as he could and then rushed to find nice clothes for himself. He settled on his work pants and the nicest shirt he owned, even though it had a paint stain on it. It was only a little one though and when he tucked his shirt in it barely showed. Hopefully, his parents wouldn’t notice or would ignore it if they did. He’d already spent too long in front of the mirror fighting with his hair and trying on different shirts. This one was the best option and, at this point, he was the one making them late while the twins waited to go. He just hoped they were still ready and hadn’t managed to get anything on their clothes while he was gone.

* * *

Apparently, the twins really valued Halloween because when they made it to his parents’ house, Nicky checked the clock and it read 7:02. He was proud that they were only a couple minutes late. When had they ever run this close to on time _ever_?

He knew he probably should rush to get inside, but he sat therewith his hands gripping the steering wheel too tight and his seat belt on as he tried to brace himself for what he was about to walk into.

The twins had both been there before, Aaron slightly more times than Andrew, but neither had been there very often. Nicky was struck by how familiar the place was even before going inside.

Nicky might have sat there forever, trying to get his nerve up, if it weren’t for the sounds of Andrew taking his seatbelt off and Aaron struggling and failing to get his own open.

“Move, Andrew!” Aaron complained and Nicky unfroze and turned around to see what all the commotion was about.

Aaron was tugging at his seatbelt trying to get it unbuckled while Andrew’s feet blocked him as Andrew stared out the window at the house.

Nicky knew that he couldn’t stall forever and it was time to get the twins out of the car and go inside. Making them super late instead of just a couple minutes late wouldn’t make this any easier. He took one last deep breath and then unbuckled himself.

“Hold on, Aaron,” he said. “I’ll help you.”

He got out of the car and went around the back to help the twins out. Hope and dread mixed in his gut as he led them up to the door. Andrew walked by himself, trailing a step or two behind them. Halfway up the driveway, Aaron grabbed onto Nicky’s hand. When they made it to the door and Nicky knocked, Aaron hid halfway behind Nicky’s leg in preparation for his aunt and uncle answering the door. Andrew waited a step back, behind Nicky.

The door opened right away, as if Nicky's parents had been standing there waiting for them.

“Traffic must have been very bad,” Luther said in lieu of a greeting. It was clear that he did not believe there was any traffic and he just wanted to bring up the fact that they were late. Nicky felt stupid that he had been proud they were only a few minutes late.

“Sorry,” Nicky mumbled, feeling guilty that he had already messed things up and gotten them off to a bad start.

“Come inside,” Maria said. “Dinner is waiting.”

As they stepped inside, Luther looked Nicky and the twins over.

“I see you didn’t have time to change,” he said and Nicky was glad they hadn’t shown up in what they had worn to school and work. “I hope all the food hasn’t gotten cold yet.”

“Luther, stop,” Maria said softly and Nicky was very relieved for his mother.

Andrew trailed several steps behind them through the hallway, but Aaron was practically attached to Nicky’s leg.

When they got to the table, Luther sat down at the end of the table and Andrew headed straight for the opposite end.

“Why don’t you come and sit here?” Luther asked as he put his hand on the back of the chair beside him.

Nicky was nervous about sitting next to him because things had been strained for years and they had left things off on a particularly bad note last time. He had been hoping that they could have a pleasant dinner without his father grilling him, but that did not seem overly likely as Nicky stepped over to the spot his father had assigned him.

Maria sat down across the table from him, between Andrew and her husband.

There was still another seat open by Nicky, between him and Andrew, but Aaron just stood a few steps behind Nicky as Nicky hesitated behind his own seat.

“Andrew, come sit by your brother,” Maria said and Nicky winced internally at her getting their names wrong, although he supposed that made sense when they were twins and his parents barely knew them.

Nicky glanced at Aaron for his reaction and watched his face scrunch up.

“I’m Aaron,” he said.

“Oh, of course,” Maria said absentmindedly. It was clear from her tone of voice that they were interchangeable to her and she wasn’t overly concerned about mixing them up.

Aaron looked to Nicky for help, but there was nothing that Nicky could do. He was as nervous and unsure as Aaron was as he sat down at his own chair. A moment later, Aaron sat down in the chair beside him.

Maria served them pasta and Nicky silently hoped the twins would wait for everyone to get food before they would start eating. Usually, he served them first and they started eating right away, even if he had something else to finish up before he could eat with them.

Andrew picked up his fork and started eating the moment that the food was on his plate.

“Andrew,” Maria said in a tone of shock as if he had done something utterly horrible and hadn’t just started eating because he was six and hungry and she had given him food.

“What are you doing?” Luther asked as if Andrew was the most vile child he had ever met, even though in Nicky's opinion Andrew was behaving particularly well.

Andrew dropped his fork and, for a second, Nicky thought everything was going to be okay, but then Andrew picked up a handful of pasta with his bare hands and took a bite of it while holding eye contact with Luther.

Panic washed over Nicky and he didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t sure if it would be worse to let Andrew's behaviour slide and have it look like he allowed this or to say something to Andrew and risk making things worse when Andrew probably wouldn’t listen to him and Nicky would just end up showing that he had no control over the twins.

His parents were clearly horrified by the behaviour and they looked to Nicky as if they expected him to do _something_.

“You let them eat like this?” Luther questioned.

Aaron, at least, grabbed his fork and started eating to show that they did know how to eat with a fork and that Nicky didn’t make them eat with their bare hands like animals. That wasn’t the right answer either though.

“We haven’t said grace yet,” Maria pointed out. “Neither of you should be eating yet.”

“Clearly, you haven’t been saying grace at home or teaching them how,” Luther commented as he turned his attention on Nicky. “I was hoping that you were over your disappointing God phase, but I suppose I was wrong.”

Nicky felt so incredibly small. Meal times were hard enough without getting the twins to say grace, but that didn’t mean that they were going to Hell and it didn’t mean that he was any less religious.

“Andrew. Aaron,” Nicky said with his voice strained. “Stop eating. We’re going to say grace first.”

By some miracle, the twins listened when he said it.

Maria and Luther put their hands up and joined them. Nicky grabbed his father’s hand and reached for Aaron’s. Aaron took Nicky’s and turned and looked at Andrew. Maria held out a hand to Andrew too. Nicky could tell this wasn’t going to go well, but he could see no way to stop it.

Andrew shoved his chair back with a horrifying screech and left the room.

Maria looked horrified that Andrew would dare to leave during grace and Luther looked disgusted by the twins’ behaviour. He stared at Nicky like he was a complete heathen who was intentionally raising the twins to be monsters doomed to eternal damnation when really he and the twins were just a new family doing their best.

Nicky wanted to check on Andrew, but he knew that it would be worse to go after him when he needed space. Besides, Nicky wasn’t sure he was allowed to leave the table. He was an adult, but he didn’t feel like one with the way his parents were looking at him.

He didn’t think there was any way that Andrew was going to come back and hold hands with anyone to say grace, even if it was just him and Aaron, so he lied, “He probably went to the bathroom. We should just say grace without him.”

Nicky's parents looked profoundly unimpressed. They waited about thirty seconds, but when there was no sign that Andrew was ever coming back, Luther began talking. Nicky tried to focus on following along and not just worrying about Andrew, but it was a struggle.

When they were done, Aaron did not say amen like the others at the table. Luther and Maria didn’t say anything about it, but Nicky could feel them judging Aaron and judging Nicky for his behaviour.

Nicky had gotten about two bites into his dinner when the sound of breaking glass came from down the hallway.

All three adults leapt from the table. Nicky was mortified and upset, but mostly he was running on adrenaline from terror as he rushed to make sure that Andrew was alright and wouldn’t hurt himself on the glass.

More glass broke as they followed the sound.

When Nicky found Andrew in one of the hallways, he was standing in the centre of a pile of broken vases and a broken fancy plate. He didn’t even try to pretend that he hadn't done it or that it had been an accident. He just stood there, staring at them all blankly.

Nicky rushed over and grabbed Andrew under the arms. He tried to have as little contact with Andrew as possible for Andrew's benefit. He kept Andrew at an armslength so that he wouldn’t hurt himself or someone else in one of his fits, but Nicky needed to get him away from the broken glass.

Maria let our a horrible shaky sobbing breath at the sight of her broken things as she appeared in the hallway behind Nicky.

Luther’s voice was angry and booming as he insisted, “Look what you let him get away with. Those were your mother’s favourite vases. Look how upset she is, Nicholas. Clearly, these kids don’t know any discipline. What kind of parent are you?”

Nicky heart was pounding in his chest. He felt so guilty and he was only getting foggy bits of what his father was saying because he was too worried about Andrew to properly concentrate on anything. He was more than a little distracted by Andrew’s flailing and thrashing and kicking at him. Nicky was trying not to drop him over the broken glass or hurt him, but it was difficult with the hallway so crowded. There wasn’t anywhere with enough space to safely carry Andrew, so he kept holding him and getting kicked. He hoped that Andrew wouldn’t wriggle out of his arms or dislocate something thrashing so violently.

Nicky really wished that Bee was there to help and he really wished that his dad would calm down. Andrew only thrashed more as Luther’s voice got louder.

Finally, Nicky managed to get past his parent and set Andrew down a little way down the hallway. He crouched down at his height and asked him, “Are you okay?”

“Obviously, he’s fine,” Luther grumbled. “He just has an attitude. The vases and plate, on the other hand, are irreparably broken thanks to his attitude problem.”

Andrew’s pupils were dilated more than Nicky had ever seen them before. He stood there rigid and stared at Nicky like if Nicky moved, Andrew would run or fight him.

Nicky was utterly mortified and all too aware of his parents’ eyes on him. He knew they were waiting for him to yell at Andrew or punish him, but Nicky knew Andrew well enough to know that doing either of those things would only set Andrew off more. Nicky wanted to leave without Andrew breaking anything else, injuring himself, or running off and hiding somewhere so he said, “We’ll talk about this at home. Why don’t we go eat?”

Andrew just stared back at him, but he wasn’t fighting so Nicky figured that was probably a half decent sign, considering the circumstances. Aaron had shown up at some point during the commotion and was standing in the doorway now. He looked utterly terrified.

Nicky turned back to his parents and swallowed down his nerves as he told them, “I’ll clean it up after. I’ll give you money to replace them.”

He was certain that he couldn’t really afford to replace his mother's things, but he would make it work. He would figure it out. Maybe, he could get Wymack to pay him in advance for the next month or loan him some money, just for now. It would be embarrassing, but at least it would be better than this. He had to offer to pay for it.

“They were irreplaceable,” Luther pointed out with a cruel coldness to his tone. “Besides, it is not like you could afford to buy more anyway. Look at your clothes. Look at theirs. Do you really expect me to believe you can afford to look after yourself, let alone them and pay us back?”

Nicky felt sick. Andrew’s whole body had gone visibly tense.

Nicky could feel Aaron’s eyes heavy on him as he insisted, “I’ll get you the money. I’ll clean up the glass. It was an accident. Let’s just go eat now.”

“An accident?” Luther scoffed. “You call that an _accident?_  That was no accident. That little monster broke them on purpose.”

Nicky’s jaw clenched and he closed his eyes as he tried to calm down. Fighting with his father had never gotten him anywhere before, but his father just kept on pushing.

“You’re just going to let him get away with it that easily?” Luther demanded. “And you’re going to cover for him? _He_ should have to clean it up. He should have a _punishment_. He should have to _apologize_ to your mother. He shouldn’t just get to eat like nothing happened. He has been misbehaving since the moment he sat down at the table and you have said _nothing_ about it. No wonder they act the way they do when you give them no consequences.”

Nicky could handle the fact that his father was angry at him and lecturing him and treating him like this, but he couldn’t deal with the way his father was treating the twins and overstepping as if he knew what was best for them and as if it was his right to yell at them.

Nicky had taken in the twins so that his parents couldn’t damage them as they had damaged him. He might have been nervousthat he wasn’t providing enough for them and wasn’t helping them enough. Maybe, he worried that he was doing this parenting thing all wrong. He wondered every day if he was helping them at all or making things worse. He by no means believed that his parenting methods were great, or even necessarily good. But Nicky did know that his parents were making things worse and upsetting the twins. Their ideas of how the twins should be dealt with would only make things so much worse and would make the twins act out worse and shut down and have temper tantrums if they kept pushing.

Nicky turned back around and tried to control his voice to not match his father’s anger as he told his father, “They’re my kids so back off.”

Luther looked incredulous, but Nicky wasn’t done.

“I will handle this how I see fit. At home. Later,” he said. “But they have had a long day and, right now, they need to eat.”

* * *

Dinner was uncomfortable and all kinds of awkward.

Nicky was kind of relieved when his parents avoided talking about his love life at all costs at first and didn’t outright ask if he had somehow seen the light and magically become interested in women, so he decided to let it slide when they quite pointedly mentioned how the neighbour had gotten married recently to a nice young woman.

He had a harder time ignoring it when the topic changed, but the intention was just as pointed.

“You know who I ran into in the supermarket the other day?” Maria asked as a segue that was not at all smooth. “Amanda Jones.”

Nicky felt his stomach churn. He’d had a short-lived 'romance' with her when he was fifteen in an ill-fated attempt to appease his parents and to try to convince himself that he could be heterosexual if he tried hard enough.

“Oh,” Nicky said because they were waiting for him to react.

“Turns out she’s single,” Maria said. “And she’s thinking about going into nursing school. Isn’t that something?”

“That’s great for her,” Nicky said.

He tried to pretend that his mother was just making small-talk and not trying to sell Amanda to him so that he wouldn’t react, but it was difficult.

“Maybe you should try getting in touch with her,” Maria suggested.

“I don’t think so,” Nicky said.

Nicky didn’t bring up the fact that he was already seeing someone. This dinner was already awkward enough. Besides, he didn’t even know if things were going to work with Erik and whatever they were was still new. Plus, he hadn’t even told the twins about them yet and Nicky still wasn’t sure what he and Erik were or that Erik was going to stay with him. Besides, he didn’t think he could bear hearing his parents say the same things about Erik that they had used to say about him. He wanted to keep Erik a separate bright point in his life for the time being and dinner was already going poorly enough. He was pretty sure he wouldn’t be invited around again anytime soon anyway.

“Come on,” Maria insisted. “You used to like her. Maybe, you could like her again. You could go to dinner together.”

Andrew, who had been making a habit of pushing his food around on his plate rather than eating, froze and stared over at Maria.

“Nicky doesn’t like girls,” he said.

Nicky felt honoured by the show of support, but also wished Andrew hadn’t said anything. Nicky did not have a problem with his own sexuality, but that did not mean that he wanted to listen to his parents’ voice their issues with it.

“Oh,” his father said in a tone of disgust. “I see you did not get over that phase yet.”

Nicky felt anger bubbling up inside him, but he knew arguing with his parents would be pointless. He just had to make it through this meal. He was trying his best to get along and at least he knew that he could leave here knowing that however they felt had not been fuelled by him letting himself get angry and petty.

“Maybe we should talk about something else,” Nicky suggested.

“I agree,” Luther said. “Although I am surprised that you would want to change the subject when you talk about your lifestyle in front of six year-olds.”

Nicky took a deep breath and tried not to let his father’s words get to him. He was trying to be a good influence for the twins, but his parents were making it awfully difficult.

“Dinner is delicious, Mom,” Nicky said in an attempt to change the subject and because he had greatly missed his mother’s cooking.

“I’m glad somebody seems to think so,” Maria commented and she looked pointedly over at Andrew, who still had most of his meal left on his plate and was swirling the noodles around in circles instead of eating.

* * *

By the time that they were done eating, Aaron had cleaned his plate and was subtly clutching his stomach underneath the table. Nicky felt bad that he had forced himself to finish eating, probably because of Maria’s words. Andrew still had three quarters of his food left on his plate, although it had been pushed around enough that it was difficult to tell he had eaten any of it.

“If you want dessert, you had better finish your food instead of just playing with it,” Maria warned him.

Andrew knocked his plate off of the table and stared her dead in the eyes as he told her, “I’m done.”

That was just another mess for Nicky to clean up before they could leave.

“I am not cleaning that up,” Maria insisted.

“I will,” Nicky said before Andrew could argue that he wasn’t either.

He didn’t want the sauce to set between the floorboards, so he got up and headed to the kitchen to grab some supplies to clean the mess up with.

Aaron and Andrew both watched him wordlessly as he cleaned up Andrew’s mess. They didn’t look happy. Nicky’s parents didn’t look happy either, but they seemed more annoyed that Nicky was cleaning up after Andrew than upset that Nicky was letting himself be pushed around.

When Nicky returned to the table, his mother had set dessert plates in front of everyone but Andrew.

Dessert was angel food cake. Aaron stared at his slice with his arms on the table and his chin on his arms, but he didn’t touch it. Nicky had a feeling he wasn’t eating because Andrew hadn’t gotten a slice.

Nicky’s parents did not hesitate to eat their own cake in front of Andrew as if they thought he would learn some sort of lesson from watching them eat the dessert that he wasn’t allowed. Nicky wasn’t sure what they expected of him when Andrew didn’t even have food to finish if he changed his mind and decided he wanted dessert.

Aaron reached his arm out and pushed his plate closer to Andrew so that it was sitting between their spots.

“Do _not_ share with him,” Luther growled. “Aaron had his chance to eat.”

Aaron’s face scrunched up again like he was trying so hard not to get angry as he pointed out, “ _I’m_ Aaron.”

Andrew stood up again and Nicky saw both of his parents go tense in perfect unison.

Nicky was alarmed too, but he tried not to show it. He ignored the lump in his throat as he said, “Andrew. Don’t break anything else.”

Much to Nicky’s surprise, Andrew gave him a slight nod before he headed for the door again. Nicky wasn’t sure whether to trust it or not, but he was at least a little relieved that Andrew had bothered to nod which was more than he expected by far.

“And stay away from the glass,” Nicky called after him.

Andrew was gone for a couple minutes, then much to Nicky’s surprise, he returned of his own accord. Aaron had eaten half of his slice of cake and left the other half on the table.

On his way back to his seat, Andrew grabbed Aaron’s plate and Aaron let him.

“You are not allowed to eat that,” Luther insisted.

“He needs something to eat,” Nicky pointed out.

“He had a perfectly good meal,” Maria argued. “He is the one who chose to throw it on the floor.”

The argument was pointless though because Andrew had already scarfed down the rest of the dessert before anyone could take it away from him. Nicky was proud.

When all of their desserts were done, Nicky said, “I’m going to go clean the glass up. I’ll help with dishes after.”

He expected the twins to sit at the table while they waited for him or for them to run off somewhere where they could stay hidden until he was ready to leave. Instead, they both got up and followed him as he got the broom and dustpan from the kitchen. As he swept up the broken glass and took it to the garbage, they stayed close by, watching him.

Nicky was sure his parents were probably off grumbling to each other about how he was cleaning up for them while they just stood there, but they were six and overwhelmed and he had put so much pressure on them like a complete idiot. He was an adult and he couldn’t deal with the pressure of being there. He never should have put that pressure onto them too.

* * *

Things were definitely awkward as Nicky dried the dishes his mother washed while the twins both hid on the other side of him. The twins were clearly more than ready to go and Nicky was exhausted and upset, so he dried as quickly as possible.

When it was time to go, Maria said, “Nicky, you seem like you need help. We could take the twins for you. Or, you could all come live here-”

She cut herself off as Nicky shook his head no. He knew what rules would be placed on him back in their house and he did not want the twins in their house anyway. They had hardly made it through dinner and there was no way that Nicky was going to subject any of them to living there.

Nicky Hemmick was certain about three things. He was definitely gay, there was no chance that was ever going to change, and there was no way in hell he was giving his twins up no matter what happened. His parents were not alright with any of those three things and Nicky was beginning to wonder why he had bothered to come there at all.

“They’re staying with me,” Nicky said. “Thank you, but we don’t need your help. Good night.”

His parents were startled, but Nicky ducked out of the doorway before either could try to change his mind or tell him just how unfit they thought he was to keep his kids.

The twins were quick on Nicky’s heels and Nicky was relieved when they were all outside without his parents and the air felt just a little easier to breathe. The twins practically ran to get to the car. Nicky couldn’t blame them.

When he got to the car, he helped Aaron get his seatbelt done up and by the time he was finished, Andrew had already buckled himself up. Nicky went back to the front of the car and got in without starting it yet. He just let his head fall against the steering wheel for a moment as the relief and frustration tangled up inside of him.

“…Nicky?” Aaron said in a voice so quiet that Nicky barely heard him. “Are you mad?”

Nicky let out a sigh.

“Not at either of you,” he said. “I never should have brought you here.”

Aaron didn’t say anything, but when Nicky turned his head to check on them, he looked like he still had a burning question.

“Neither of you is in trouble, if that’s what you’re wondering,” Nicky said. “Let’s just go home and try to forget we ever came.”

* * *

When they got home, Nicky sent the twins to change into their pajamas while he made Kraft Dinner for Andrew since he still had barely eaten.

It was late for six year-olds and Nicky was exhausted, but it wasn’t too late for Nicky to stay up and he was too wired and frustrated to go to bed anyway.

He started the mac and cheese cooking, then checked his phone for the first time since lunch. He’d had it on silent all day.

A couple of messages from Erik greeted him. _Good luck at dinner_ had been sent just after he had gotten off work. Just over an hour ago, Erik had sent  _How is it going?_

Nicky meant to send a quick text back, but he was too irritated to keep his annoyance to one text.

_terrible_

_like AWFUL_

_i shouldnt have gone_

_im 2 mad 2 even type_

_theres 2 much 2 text_

_& thatscoming from ME_

_ugh_

The twins showed up in the kitchen in their matching pajamas that were already starting to get a little small on them and Nicky switched his focus to them.

“Are you two okay?” He asked.

Aaron groaned, “I ate too much.”

Nicky figured that wasn’t the worst complaint Aaron could have had about the night.

“Then I guess you don’t want any mac and cheese,” Nicky said. “You’ll probably feel better in a little while, bud.”

“No more food,” Aaron said as he sat down at the table to wait with his brother.

“What about you, Andrew?” Nicky asked. “Are you alright?”

Andrew blinked at him for a moment and Nicky thought that he wasn’t going to answer again, but after a long pause, he said, “I like it better here.”

Nicky considered that a small victory, although Andrew had not entirely answered his question.

He finished making Kraft Dinner and then served it to Andrew. Andrew must have been hungrier than he let on earlier because he dug in immediately, shoveling KD into his mouth.

While Andrew ate, Nicky checked his phone again. It was still on silent and he had missed texts from Erik.

_Shit. I’m sorry._

_If you want to talk about it, we could Skype or you could call me._

_Or we could talk about something else if you need a distraction._

“Nicky, can you read us a bedtime story after?” Aaron asked. He had his head resting on the table and looked like he wouldn’t be able to stay awake through more than a few pages, but it was the least Nicky could do for him after the night he had put the twins through.

“Whichever one you want,” Nicky promised.

He glanced back down at Erik’s text. He definitely wanted to talk to him. It would be nice to see his face too.

_andrews eating & then ive got 2 put them 2 bed but skype would b good after_

Erik’s response was almost immediate.

_Okay. I might be eating at first. Sorry._

Nicky sent a quick text back before he set his phone down again.

_thats ok unlike my parents i let people eat without yelling @ them_

* * *

Aaron managed to stay awake through the whole book, seemingly out of sheer determination alone.

As Nicky read, Aaron looked at the pictures eagerly while Andrew ignored the book altogether. Nicky couldn’t tell if he was listening or not, but at least he had gone to bed willingly after he had eaten and that was a victory for Nicky.

When he finished the story, Nicky plugged Aaron’s nightlight in and left the room with the light off and the door closed like he knew they liked.

He grabbed the old laptop his parents had given him years ago out of his bedroom and took it to the living room since his room was just across from the twins’ and he didn’t want to keep them awake while he talked to Erik.

Nicky had planned on leaving the dishes in the sink to deal with the next morning, but the computer was old and took so long to turn on that Nicky gave in and got up to wash the dishes while it booted up.

When he came back to the living room, it had thankfully turned on. He texted Erik back as he opened up Skype and a few minutes later, he was answering Erik’s call.

“I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea to go there,” Nicky said. “I know it’s dumb, but I just wanted them to be proud of me. I wanted them to see how hard I’ve been working for the twins and how far we’ve come since I adopted them, but they just looked at all three of us like we were scum.”

Nicky was aware that he should probably let Erik get a word in instead of diving right in, but he’d been holding it together in front of his parents and the twins all night and he just needed to let some of it out.

“And I don’t know. Maybe my parents are right and I’m a terrible parent,” he continued. “I mean I know I’m terrified that they’re right, but at the same time, I’m only more sure about my choice to take the twins in so they wouldn’t end up with my them now. You should have seen the way they treated them. I mean, they’re just kids. They’re _six_. And I know they’re not angels or anything. I’m not delusional. I am well aware that they’re a handful, but the thing is they were trying _so hard_ and for what? Because they wanted me to take them trick or treating and can you _believe_ that they’ve never been trick or treating and really thought that I wasn’t going to take them?"

Nicky realized he was going on a tangent. He could stop to explain the whole  _the twins had never been allowed a real Halloween_ thing but, instead, he focused back on the main point of the story.

"They were _trying so_ hard," he repeated. "And they _didn’t even do anything wrong_ before my parents started in. Andrew started eating when they gave him food and they just snapped at him. They yelled at them all night and acted like I was awful for not freaking out at them too and they cared more about disciplining them than their safety. And that’s not even mentioning them deciding I must be heterosexual now and trying to set me up with some girl I went to high school with and ugh I’m completely unloading on you but I’m just so angry and I feel so stupid for taking the kids there and I’m so mad that my parents tried to convince me to give them up and I don’t know how they managed to make me feel like the world’s shittiest parents while proving exactly why I should keep the twins away from them at the same time and oh my god I cannot believe they have me so distracted that I’m rambling at you like this and I’m so distracted that I didn’t even notice how hot you look out of your work clothes and it’s totally not fair for you to look this good in and out of work clothes what the hell?”

Erik was sitting on his own couch, eating his dinner as he listened to Nicky babble on. He was in a t-shirt instead of his fancy work clothes and he looked effortlessly hot in a way Nicky thought he should have noticed much sooner.

“I’m sorry it went so awfully,” Erik said. “But at least you know now, right? You don’t have to wonder what if you had gone back and they had realized how well you were doing? You got your answer and they proved tonight that you don’t need them in your lives.”

Nicky sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”

“For what it’s worth, it’s clear you care a hell of a lot about your kids,” Erik said. “I can tell that without even having met them. If your parents can’t tell, then that says more about them than it does about you.”

“Maybe,” Nicky said, but he wasn’t so sure. It was hard to believe Erik when he had never met the twins or seen Nicky with them.

“Did they really try to convince you to give the twins up?” Erik questioned.

“The options they tried were that or move back in with them so they could help,” Nicky said. “I passed on both offers.”

“Good,” Erik said. “You don’t need them.”

Nicky sighed and then told him, “I would have rather spent the night with you.” His cheeks got hot as he realized what he said and then quickly added, “That’s not what I meant. I mean, not that I wouldn’t want to spend the night with you. But I wasn’t coming on to you that hard right at this moment. I didn’t mean to bring up sex, but but now I can't stop thinking about it and wow, okay, yes. That would be good too.”

Erik let out a laugh. “That’s okay. I give you my permission to think about me in whatever scandalous ways you want. And I would have liked to have spent the night with you too, however you meant it.”

Nicky found himself grinning despite himself.

“You’re pretty great, you know that?” Nicky asked. “And if you want to think about me in sexy ways I am a-okay with that too."

Erik chuckled. "I'll keep that in mind."

For a moment, Nicky was distracted by the possibility that Erik had already been thinking about him in sexy ways, but then he forced his brain to focus again.

"Part of me thinks tonight was a sign that I shouldn’t bring the twins around anyone," Nicky admitted. "And part of me thinks that if I already screwed up and brought them around my parents again that there’s no way that introducing them to you could go any worse.”

“I don’t know,” Erik said. “I don’t know your twins. You would know what’s best for them a hell of a lot better than I would.”

“I don’t know,” Nicky said. “I definitely have to give them a bit of time before I put them through anything else after tonight, but then maybe if you’re alright with meeting them and it seems like they’re in a decent place? It would be easier to find time for you if I wasn’t keeping you and them totally separate.”

“You think they’d be alright with that?” Erik asked.

“I don’t know,” Nicky admitted. “I thought I knew what they would and wouldn’t be okay with, but now I’m not so sure. I thought Andrew wouldn't want me dating anyone but then he tried to set me up with a woman I work with tonight.”

“A different woman than the one your parents tried to set you up with?” Erik asked.

“Yes. Apparently, I’m giving off straight vibes tonight and I’d really like to know how to turn those off,” Nicky said. “I didn’t think he’d want me seeing anyone, but then he tried to convince me to go on a date with her and I thought he would get mad when I refused, but he was just fine with it… I told him that I’m gay though since, clearly, he hadn’t figured it out for himself.”

“How did he react?” Erik asked.

“He didn’t really,” Nicky admitted. “But that’s nothing out of the ordinary for Andrew. He said I didn’t have to date Bee though when I asked if he was alright with it, so I guess that’s something. And when my mom tried to convince me to ask another woman out, Andrew told her I don’t like women which didn’t go over well, but my parents were going to be mad either way and at least Andrew seems to have accepted it. He doesn’t know about you yet though and whatever this is.”

“Whatever this is?” Erik asked. “We’re dating, are we not?”

“Well, obviously,” Nicky said.

“I’m not interested in dating anybody else,” Erik told him. “I don’t know about you.”

“Oh yes,” Nicky said sarcastically. “I am seeing so many men and I have so much time for all of them. I’m drowning in them.”

Erik let out a chuckle. “Ah, so this is the real reason you’re so busy all the time.”

“I don’t want to see other men either,” Nicky told him. “I’m already overwhelmed enough by how into you I am.”

“So does this mean that you are willing to be my boyfriend?” Erik asked.

Nicky hesitated, even as his heart started racing at the thought. More than anything, he would love to be Erik’s boyfriend. If he didn’t have anyone else to consider, he would have already spit out an enthusiastic yes. But he couldn’t make decisions just for himself anymore.

“I don’t know,” Nicky said and the look of surprise that crossed Erik’s features hurt. “I mean I would love to be your boyfriend. I would really, _really_ love it. But I don’t think that’s a commitment I can make before you’ve met the twins. I mean, what if you hate them? What if they hate you? What if you’re completely fooling me and it turns out that you can’t stand children and you end up being horrible to them?”

Erik still looked disappointed, although he did not argue.

“I’m sorry,” Nicky said. “I still want to kiss you more and talk to you more and see you and think about you in all sorts of sexy scandalous ways and you have no idea how much I want to be your boyfriend and tell everyone I know about my amazing new boyfriend. I _really_ want you and the twins to like each other. I just-”

“No, I get it,” Erik said. “I was hoping the answer would be yes, but your concerns are valid and this is much better than just no.”

It was silent for a moment and Nicky wasn’t sure exactly how to navigate this situation.

“I’ve been talking too much,” Nicky said. “Tell me about your day.”

* * *

Nicky expected the twins to be even more difficult than usual on Friday morning after the way the night before had gone but, to his surprise, they cooperated and were ready early enough that he managed to actually eat breakfast and leave on time for once.

They were listening so well that Nicky was starting to feel like he had woken up in the Twilight Zone. He wondered if they were behaving so well and getting ready so quickly as an attempt to make sure Nicky wouldn’t take trick or treating away from them, so in the car Nicky asked, “What are you two going to go as for Halloween?”

He glanced in the rearview mirror and they both looked surprised.

“We get costumes?” Aaron asked.

“Of course,” Nicky said. “You can’t go trick or treating without costumes, right? So what are you going to go as?”

“We can choose anything?” Aaron asked.

“Anything you want,” Nicky assured them. He would make it work. They deserved it when they were so surprised to even be getting to go, let alone getting to wear a costume. Nicky was going to have to make their costumes though and he hoped that he would have enough stuff around the apartment to not have to buy too much to make their costumes.

“I don’t know yet,” Andrew said.

“Me either,” Aaron said.

“Okay,” Nicky said. “You’ve still got time. Just let me know when you figure it out.”

* * *

Friday night, Erik was out for drinks with Chris and Jack as usual when got a text from Nicky.

_what r u up 2 2nite?_

“Who’s texting you?” Chris asked with a smirk. “Your boyfriend?”

“Not my boyfriend,” Erik said. “At least not yet.”

He typed out a quick response and then glanced up again.

_I’m at a bar with a couple guys from work._

“Why not your boyfriend?” Jack asked. “You like this Nicky guy don’t you?”

“Yes,” Erik said and his phone buzzed in his hand again.

_str8 h8 their wives guys from last week????_

“And this Nicky guy likes you?” Jack pressed on.

“He does,” Erik said.

“So then ask him to be your boyfriend,” Jack said. “Easy as that. Here. I’ll do it for you if you want.”

Jack reached out for Erik’s phone and Erik jerked it away a little too fast. He didn’t need either of them seeing what Nicky had texted him. He didn’t need them knowing what he’d said about them on the phone last week when he’d thought that their joking around and venting was how they actually felt about their families.

_They’re not so bad. Turns out they don’t actually hate being married, they were just venting away from their kids._

“What are you texting him?” Chris asked. “Are you asking him to be your boyfriend?”

“No,” Erik said. “I already asked him last night. He said no.”

His phone buzzed, but he didn’t check it right away.

“Ouch,” Jack said. “And he’s still texting you after that? Are you sure he’s even interested?”

His phone buzzed again. And then a third time.

“He’s interested,” Erik said. “He’s got kids. He said he couldn’t say yes without seeing how I get along with them first.”

“He’s got kids, huh?” Jack asked. “You didn’t mention that before.”

“Dating was rough enough before my kids,” Chris commented. “I couldn’t imagine doing it with them.”

Erik glanced down at his phone.

_thats good_

_if ur still up when i get home from work do u want 2 skype again????_

_its cool if ur not awake or dont tho_

“Have you met his kids yet?” Chris asked.

“Not yet.”

Erik knew that Nicky got off work at his second job at two in the morning and that he'd still have to pick the twins up before he would get home. Erik was going to be out later than he’d usually be up, but definitely not that late and he had been planning on going to bed as soon as he got home.

He was already going to be up well past his usual bedtime anyway though and he wasn’t about to miss out on Skyping with Nicky, especially when it was the weekend anyway.

_I’d love to. I’ll probably be up anyway._

“How many kids does he have anyway?” Jack asked.

“Two,” Erik said. “Twins.”

He got another text and smiled to himself as he looked down at it.

_gr8 :) <3_

“Twins,” Chris repeated. “Wow.”

“Are you nervous about meeting them?” Jack asked.

“I wasn’t,” Erik admitted. “But now that I know how much weight there is on it, yeah. I’m worried they’re going to hate me and Nicky’s going to be done with me because of it.”

* * *

When Erik got home, it was close to one am, but he knew he still had time before Nicky would be off work, let alone home.

He was tired, so he made himself a cup of coffee and then sat down on the couch. He found a movie already in progress on tv and settled in to watch it while he waited.

Rocko laid own on the couch with his head in Erik’s lap, settled in for the night there instead of on Erik's bed.

The movie had ended and Erik was about twenty minutes into the next one when he finally got a text from Nicky.

_r u still up?????_

Erik shifted to sit up a little taller as he sent a text back.

_Yes._

Nicky’s response was almost immediate.

_good_

_sry have 2 put the twins 2 bed & then ill be good if u r_

_i just got home when did u????_

Erik thought that telling Nicky he’d stayed up waiting for him would only make him feel bad when it had been Erik’s choice anyway, so he decided against telling the truth.

_That’s alright. I just got home a few minutes ago. I’ll be ready when you are._

* * *

The twins were so tired they had fallen back asleep in the car but, when they got in the house, they took forever to get settled into bed. Nicky felt bad about how long he was making Erik wait but, finally, he got to the living room and turned his laptop on.

_w8ing 4 my laptop 2 load sry_

_hold on a sec its older than the twins_

Erik responded right away.

_That’s okay. I can wait._

When Nicky finally got his computer on, Erik answered his call right away.

Erik smiled when he saw him.

“You have no idea how nice it is to see your face after a long day,” Nicky told him.

“It’s pretty nice to see yours too,” Erik said with a grin. “Was your day bad or just long?”

“Long,” he said. “And a little weird, but not bad. The twins were being so good this morning I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“That’s a good kind of weird though, right?” Erik asked.

“Definitely,” Nicky agreed. “It just sucks that they’re probably only behaving so well because they’re afraid I’m going to rip Halloween away from them. But at least trick or treating is something I can actually give them for once. How about your day? You said the guys you went out with aren’t that bad?”

“I’d been assuming the worst about them,” Erik said. “Getting all annoyed about those comments, thinking that was what they really thought and how they act all the time. But turns out it’s just the macho venting talk before they go back to their wives and families and lose the act. I figured they were probably going to be homophobic pricks that hate their wives but think they’re more entitled to get married than we are, but they aren’t like that at all. I told them about you, half expecting an excuse to be done with them but they just wanted to know more about you and if anything, they’re a little too invested in my love life.”

Nicky let out a laugh and then grinned as he asked, “So, you talk about me?”

“You keep texting me while I’m with them and giving me an excuse to bring you up,” Erik said with a smile. "So, of course, I take advantage of the opportunity."

“Well, sorry but I’m not overly sorry about that,” Nicky admitted. “Do you talk to me about anybody else?”

He was joking but, to his surprise, Erik said, “My sister. I think she likes the idea of you. I guess you haven’t told anyone about me?”

“My boss,” Nicky admitted. “He’s not really just my boss though. He’s a friend too, one of the only ones I have and he gets the pleasure of hearing all about you and how much I like you.”

“Daycare boss or bar boss?”

“Daycare boss,” Nicky said. “Wymack. He’s the one that was watching the twins tonight. He watches them for me most nights.”

Erik opened his mouth to say something, but then someone else spoke before he could.

“Nicky?”

Nicky glanced over to the doorway and saw Aaron rubbing at one of his eyes, looking so tired that he could fall over at any moment.

“You’re supposed to be in bed,” Nicky said.

Aaron stumbled into the room, still rubbing at his eye. When he made it to the couch, he flopped down beside Nicky. His forehead fell against Nicky’s arm as if his head was too heavy to hold up on his own.

“Andrew’s kicking in his sleep again,” Aaron complained against Nicky’s arm.

Nicky was very aware that this was Erik’s first glance at either of the twins as he looked at the screen to try to gauge his reaction.

“This must be Aaron then,” Erik said. He was smiling like he was glad he got to see him and Nicky was relieved that Erik wasn’t visibly annoyed by Aaron’s intrusion, even if he himself was wishing that Aaron hadn’t gotten back up. “He’s cute.”

“I am not,” Aaron grumbled against Nicky’s sleeve.

Nicky would have to warn Erik later how much the twins did not appreciate being accused of being cute.

Aaron lolled his head to the side, still resting it on Nicky, and Nicky could see his eyes were droopy in the part of the screen that showed him and Aaron.

“Who’s that?”

“Erik,” Nicky said. “He’s my friend.”

He figured it was better to judge Aaron’s reaction to that than to tell one twin that he was dating a guy and leave the other, especially Andrew, in the dark about it. Especially, when he had absolutely no clue how they would react to the news that he was seeing someone. He knew he would have to tell them soon though since Aaron was bound to tell Andrew about this and Andrew was likely to piece it together, especially when he knew that Nicky was interested in men.

Aaron rolled his head back to look up at Nicky’s face as he asked, “Your friend?”

Nicky nodded.

Apparently, Aaron’s head was too heavy because he rolled it forward again instead of lifting it as he blinked back at Erik like he was struggling to keep his eyes open. Aaron yawned and then warned, “You can’t have playdates with Nicky.”

Nicky found Aaron’s ruling amusing, but it was also mortifying that Aaron had shot Erik’s existence in his life down so immediately.

“Nicky’s ours,” Aaron insisted and Nicky’s heart melted.

Sleepy Aaron always laid his head on Nicky and was more physically clingy than usual, but tonight sleepy Aaron was coming for his Nicky's heart hard.

“I’m not trying to steal Nicky away from you,” Erik assured Aaron. “I know he’s yours.”

Nicky glanced down at Aaron as he asked, “Don't you think you could give Erik even a _little_ bit of time with me?”

Aaron yawned again. “He could have you when we’re at school if you didn’t work, but he can’t have you when you’re supposed to be with us.”

Nicky was honoured that Aaron liked having him around so much but that was bad news for trying to make future plans with Erik. Maybe, if he somehow managed to get Aaron a playdate with the girl he’d run off to play with, Aaron would change his mind and let Nicky see Erik again for something other than a lunch date though.

Apparently, Aaron was done acknowledging Erik, since he turned away from the laptop and tucked his face against Nicky. His voice came out muffled by Nicky’s shoulder as he asked, “Can I sleep in your bed?”

“Sure,” Nicky said. “Can you go try to sleep and I’ll meet you there as soon as I finish talking to Erik?”

Nicky wasn’t going to stay up way later thinking that he should be asleep but staying up to talk to Erik anyway like he had planned to before Aaron gotten back up, but he thought it would be nice to have a minute to say goodbye to Erik and finish up the call without Aaron leaning on him.

Aaron shook his head no against Nicky, then asked, “Can we sleep with the light on?”

Nicky realized that Aaron wouldn’t go by himself because Nicky’s room didn’t have a nightlight.

“I’ll get your nightlight from your room, okay, bud?” He asked and then shot Erik an apologetic that Aaron couldn’t see past his face full of Nicky’s sleeve.

“No,” Aaron murmured. “Andrew gets mad if you wake him up.”

Nicky knew for a fact that he would not get a moment of sleep if Aaron made him leave the bedroom light on all night, so he asked, “How about we leave the hallway light on and the door open a little?”

Andrew liked sleeping with the twins’ door closed anyway so Nicky knew it wouldn’t bug him or wake him up.

“Okay,” Aaron gave in, much to Nicky’s relief. “But you have to come with me.”

Nicky looked at Erik helplessly while Aaron leaned half asleep on him with his eyes closed as he waited. Pretty soon, Aaron was going to end up falling asleep on Nicky only to wake up again when Nicky would have to move him.

“It’s okay,” Erik said. “Go. You’re needed.”

Nicky still felt guilty as he said, “Sorry. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Good night.”

“Good night, Nicky,” Erik said. “Good night, Aaron.”

Aaron mumbled out a sound that was more of a groan at being spoken to than any kind of real response.

Nicky glanced down at him and waited a moment to see if he was planning on saying something back, but Aaron didn’t so Nicky shot Erik one last apologetic look before he hung up.

“Alright,” Nicky said to Aaron as he turned his computer off. “Let’s go.”

He left his computer on the living room table as he stood up. Aaron practically fell over on the couch without the extra support. He didn’t look like he was going to make it far on foot.

“Do you need carried?” Nicky asked. He had no doubt that if Andrew was there that Aaron would look to him and then shake his head no, but Andrew wasn’t there and Aaron yawned and nodded his head.

Nicky grabbed him off the couch and tried not to shake him up too much on the way down the hallway so that he wouldn’t wake him up all over again on the way to bed.

He turned the hallway light on on his way by and carried Aaron over to his bed before he turned back to lean the doorway partway shut. He tried to leave it open just a crack, but that did not fly.

“It’s too dark,” Aaron complained.

Nicky begged to differ, considering he could turn around and see enough to tell that Aaron was sitting cross-legged at the foot of the bed with his elbows on the bed in front of him and his chin in his hands, but he knew it wasn’t worth arguing.

“How about that?” Nicky asked after he moved the door so that it was a little closer to closed than it was to open. Half the bed was covered in light and attempting to sleep was going to be rough, but at least the pillows were still in shadow.

Aaron shook his head no.

“This is more light than your nightlight gives,” Nicky pointed out, but Aaron just shook his head no again and Nicky recalled how much he had hated the dark when he had slept over at friends’ houses in rooms that weren’t his own as a kid.

Nicky moved the door so that it was 3/4 of the way open.

“This is far as I’ll go,” Nicky warned, although he wasn’t totally certain that was true, depending on how hard of a bargain Aaron drove.

Luckily, Aaron didn’t argue and just crawled under the covers, effectively claiming the dead centre of Nicky’s bed for himself.

Nicky got in around him, too tired to care that Aaron had left him less than half of his own bed. He was nearly as exhausted as Aaron looked, so it wasn’t long before he dozed off.

* * *

The next morning, Nicky was surprised when he woke up with both twins in his bed instead of just Aaron. Andrew must have shown up sometime in the night and come searching for his brother. He was asleep on the other side of Aaron from Nicky, but when Nicky sat up, Andrew shifted and then sat up too.

“Good morning,” Nicky greeted him.

At the sound of Nicky’s voice, Aaron’s eyes fluttered open. Andrew didn’t acknowledge that Nicky had spoken and watched as his brother sat up and stretched.

“I’m hungry,” Andrew said.

“I’ll make breakfast after I shower,” Nicky said because he was still feeling pretty gross from work the night before and he had Skyped with Erik instead of showering when he had gotten home.

Nicky wasn’t sure if Andrew liked his answer or not, but he didn’t argue at least so Nicky got up to go shower before Andrew could get too impatient.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N: I've updated my organization system for extras, so I'm adding author's notes to make things more clear.**
> 
> **I have extras written from other characters' points of view that give extra information and provide more context around other character's actions, thoughts, and situations since there is a lot going on beyond Nicky and Erik's points of view. They started off on tumblr, but now I'm posting them here. This fic is now part 1 of a series called Fox Daycare & Extras and if you go to that series, you can find Fox Daycare Extras there.**
> 
> **Before next chapter, I plan on posting one extra per twin for their pov during the dinner at Luther and Maria's with their reactions to the whole "They're my kids so back off" thing (and more info about what Andrew did the second time he stalked off from the table) and probably an extra from Andrew's pov of him waking up and finding Aaron gone and going to Nicky and some context around that.**
> 
> **So far for extras that are posted there is:**
> 
> **1\. Neil's pov with some context about his home life and his dyamic with Wymack and Kevin.**
> 
> **2\. Aaron's pov with some context about why he crams so many pictures in Nicky's pockets with him discovering Andrew got a note in his lunch and he didn't that one day.**
> 
> **3\. Andrew's pov of grocery shopping with some context about his dynamic with Nicky and Aaron and why he didn't seem to care at all that Aaron was upset about not getting a note.**
> 
> **4\. Wymack's pov of a conversation with Nicky after his second date with Erik.**
> 
> **5\. Aaron's pov with context around his through the fence friendship with Katelyn, why he ran away to go see her, and why he cried when Nicky was lecturing him about running off.**
> 
> **6\. Andrew's pov with context around his and Bee's dynamic and how he ended up trusting her in this setting with Andrew's reasoning for trying to set Bee and Nicky up.**


	8. Chapter 8

Nicky went to the extra effort of making pancakes with chocolate chips for breakfast because he knew that he needed to tell the twins about Erik before Aaron could tell Andrew about what he had seen the night before. He figured it couldn’t hurt to butter them up and put them in a good mood before sharing any information.

He cut the twins’ pancakes for them and then sat down at the table to cut his own as he said, “There’s something I need to tell you both.”

Aaron's head whipped up and Andrew froze with his fork still stabbing a piece of pancake.

“I’ve been going on dates with someone,” Nicky said. “A guy. My friend, Erik. The one you saw me talking to last night, Aaron.”

Aaron frowned and Nicky remembered him telling Erik that he wasn’t allowed to go on playdates with him.

“Is he going to start having sleepovers?” Aaron asked and Nicky remembered the disgusted way his father used to talk about the stream of men Tilda kept as company.

“No,” Nicky said. “No sleepovers. At least not now. We’ve gone for lunch a couple times. We talk on the phone and on the computer. But he knows you two come first. I told him I can’t promise him anything until I know how he is around you.”

Neither twin said anything. Nicky was aware of the fact that Andrew hadn’t said anything since he had brought up Erik, but he wasn’t sure what he had expected.

“Hey, we’ve got all day together before I have to go back to work,” Nicky said. “How about we watch a movie after breakfast?”

They both looked up from their pancakes, so Nicky figured he had sold them on the idea.

* * *

Erik tried calling Nicky on Sunday morning, but when the phone stopped ringing, no one said anything.

“Nicky?” Erik asked. “Are you there?”

The line was silent.

"Hello?" He tried again. "Nicky?"

He waited, but no answer came still so he hung up.

A few minutes later, Nicky called him back.

“Hey,” Erik said when he answered the phone. “I tried calling you, but it must have broken up or something.”

“No, it didn’t break up,” Nicky said. “I already told you about Andrew taking my stuff and hiding it sometimes. Well, I thought he was over it, but I told the twins that I’m dating you yesterday and he’s taken my phone three times since.”

“You told them about me?” Erik asked. “How did they take it?”

“I don’t know yet,” Nicky said. “They didn’t really react. I don’t know if they know what it means for them. I don’t know if _I_ really know what it means for them.”

“That’s great that they know,” Erik said because it felt like a pretty important step. “I know you’re busy, but please tell me we can at least get lunch again this week.”

Nicky hesitated for a moment.

“It’s my treat."

“You don’t have to keep paying for me,” Nicky said. “You already paid last time.”

Something in Nicky's tone made Erik wonder if Nicky’s busy schedule was the only reason that they couldn’t see each other as often as he’d like. Nicky worked two jobs and had twins. Erik hadn’t thought that dates might be stressful on Nicky’s wallet.

“You have two kids,” Erik said. “I have none. That means you can spend money on them and I get to spend money on you.”

“You don’t have to buy my time,” Nicky said.

“I’m not buying your time,” Erik said. “I’m buying you lunch.”

“It just feels like if I can’t pay for myself, then I’m not really getting by with the twins on my own,” Nicky said. “I can buy my own lunch. I’ll make it work.”

“If you really want to pay for your own food, I won't stop you,” Erik said. “But you don’t have to try to find a way to make it work. You were getting along fine before you met me and you would be getting along fine not going out on dates with me. Paying isn’t a big deal for me. Really.”

Nicky let out a sigh and then said, “Alright, fine. You’ve convinced me. For now. But only because I really want to see you again.”

* * *

“They’re asleep again,” Wymack said when Nicky went to pick the twins up after work that night.

“Before we wake them up, can I ask you about something?” Nicky asked.

“Go for it,” Wymack said.

“Do you think it would be a completely stupid idea to have the twins meet Erik now that they know about him instead of waiting?” He asked.

“I don’t know,” Wymack said. “Do you think waiting is going to make a big difference in how it goes?”

Nicky considered for a moment. “Probably not.”

“Then I say why not?” Wymack asked. “It’s better to find out how it goes sooner rather than later, right?”

"I guess," Nicky agreed.

He took a step into the apartment to go wake the twins, but stopped when Wymack called him.

"Hey, Nicky," he said. "I want to meet this guy of yours sometime too."

"Really?" Nicky asked.

"Of course," Wymack said. "Someone has to fill in for your parents and make sure he's good enough for you."

"He is definitely good enough," Nicky said. "But I'll keep that in mind."

* * *

Monday, Nicky went to Bee for advice because she understood what Andrew needed better than he did.

“Bee, I need your help,” he said. “Would it be totally crazy to have Erik over for dinner and introduce the twins to him after how last week went?”

He had already told Bee about how dinner with his parents had gone at work on Friday. He wasn’t sure if he wanted her to talk him out of this idea or into it. He’d been convinced it was a good idea after talking to Wymack but he had lost his confidence since he had woken up.

“There is never going to be a perfect time that they’ll be ready to meet him,” Bee said. “But if you want to be with Erik, they’re going to have to meet him sooner or later. I don’t think it will go any worse if you give them a week or a month.”

“So, you’re saying I won’t be a terrible parent if I have him over for dinner on Saturday?” Nicky asked.

“You’re not a terrible parent, Nicky,” Bee said. “Terrible parents don’t worry about what’s best for their kids over what they want.”

“Thanks,” Nicky said.

Bee was incredible with kids and she saw Nicky with his every day. When she said he wasn’t a terrible parent, Nicky even believed her a little.

* * *

Wednesday, Nicky met up with Erik for lunch again.

When he got there, Erik was coming out of the coffee shop with two coffees and a bag in his hand.

“Am I that late?” Nicky asked.

“No,” Erik said with a smile. “I thought we could eat somewhere else today. Come on, I’m driving.”

“Where are we going?” Nicky asked when he was in the passenger seat of Erik’s car with the bag of lunch in his lap.

“I can't stand being cooped up in the office all day,” Erik said. “So on days I don't have a lunch meeting or a date with you, I go eat outside.”

“You do realize there were tables outside of the building we just left, right?” Nicky asked.

Erik looked away from the road just long enough to shoot him a dazzling smile. “I know a better spot.”

“Oh, you’ve got a secret spot, huh?” Nicky asked. “I bet you take all your dates there.”

“I don't bring anyone here,” Erik said as he pulled into a parking spot outside of a park. “And you're the first American I've dated.”

It was the perfect opportunity to tell Erik that he was the first guy he'd dated at all but, instead, Nicky got out of the car with the bag of food while Erik carried the coffee.

"So," Nicky said as he followed Erik out of the parking lot. "Are you one of those guys that's really into hiking?”

“Is that so bad?” Erik asked.

“No,” Nicky said. “It's very manly. I like it. You know, I’m not terrible outdoors either. My parents sent me to bible camp hoping I'd come back some perfect heterosexual Christian man. I came back just as gay and thinking God hated me for it, but I could start a mean fire.”

“That’s awful,” Erik said.

“They did a lot of awful things to try to make me straight that just made me hate myself and question my religion,” Nicky said. “But enough about my parents. I've wasted too much time letting them make me miserable. Now, I’m a proud religious gay man and anyone who has a problem with it doesn't deserve a place in my life.”

“You never fail to impress me,” Erik said. “You know that?”

“Good,” Nicky said. “It’s mutual then.”

Erik stopped at a bench in its own little private clearing, deep enough in the park that there was no one around and sat down.

“What do you think?” he asked as Nicky sat down beside him.

“Much nicer than an over-crowded coffee shop,” Nicky said and he leaned closer to kiss Erik. “Be careful though. I might start bringing all my men here.”

“You’re going to steal my move like that?” Erik asked as he passed Nicky his coffee cup.

“It’s a pretty good move,” Nicky assured him as he grabbed one of the paninis Erik had bought out of the bag, then handed the bag over. For a moment, he watched Erik take a bite of his sandwich, then he asked, “How serious were you about wanting to meet the twins?”

“They’re your kids,” Erik said. “Of course, I want to meet them.”

“Like in some theoretical future setting?” Nicky asked. “Or like in an I make up for all the food you keep buying me by making you dinner this Saturday and you meet the twins then kind of way?”

“Are you inviting me over on Saturday?” Erik asked. “I’d love to come.”

“Full disclosure, when I say I’m making you dinner, I do mean Kraft Dinner,” Nicky said. “I have two six-year-olds. If they could, they would eat Oreos and ice cream for every meal.”

“Kraft Dinner sounds perfect,” Erik said.

“You're exaggerating,” Nicky accused. “But I appreciate it.”

“Anything you could make me would be perfect,” Erik insisted.

“That’s a pretty good line,” Nicky said.

“I try."

“If you’re really meeting them, then there are some things you should know,” Nicky said. “They can’t stand it when they get called the wrong names. Andrew always wears a long sleeved shirt under his t-shirt. Aaron usually wears short sleeves. He’s the one you saw on Skype.”

“Andrew has long sleeves,” Erik repeated. “Aaron has short ones.”

“And you probably figured it out from Aaron, but they don’t like being called cute,” Nicky added. “And, what else? Oh, Andrew hates the word please so don’t say it around him. And if he starts freaking out, give him some space. Oh, and Aaron probably won’t be much trouble, but I bet he’ll be quiet. He doesn’t talk much to most people.”

“Okay,” Erik said. “I’ll do my best to remember all that.”

“I’ll remind you when you get there,” Nicky assured him.

* * *

By the time they finished eating, it was already time to drive back.

“You’re not going to strand me without my car, are you?” Nicky asked.

“Now that you say that, maybe I’ll drop you off at daycare,” Erik said. “It would give me an excuse to pick you up again at the end of the day so I could bring you back to your car.”

“Are you trying to meet the twins early?” Nicky asked. “Because I don’t think that would make a great first impression on them.”

“Fine,” Erik said as if he hadn’t been planning on bringing Nicky back to the coffee shop parking lot anyway. “I guess I'll take you back to your car.”

When they made it back to the parking lot, it was nearly time that Erik would have to leave or else they would both be late, but Nicky didn’t get out of the car yet.

“Thanks,” Nicky said. “For lunch. And agreeing to meet my kids. And taking to me your favourite spot.”

Erik unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned across the car to kiss him. Nicky seemed surprised for a moment, but then he grabbed onto Erik’s face and kissed him back.

When Nicky wrapped his arms around Erik’s neck and deepened the kiss, Erik wanted nothing more than to stay in his car and make out with Nicky for the rest of the day, but he pulled away just enough that he had room to say, “We should probably go before we’re late.”

“We really need to start making out before it’s time to leave,” Nicky said. “Next time, we make out first. Eat second.”

Erik laughed and kissed Nicky on the forehead. “Deal.”

* * *

That evening, on the way home from daycare, Nicky glanced in the rearview mirror and asked, “Do you remember Erik? The guy I told you I’ve been dating?”

Neither twin said anything. Nicky gripped the steering wheel tighter.

“He’s coming over for dinner on Saturday so that you can meet each other,” Nicky said. “We’ll have all day together without him before he comes over though. And you don’t have to dress or act different for dinner this time. You don’t even have to like him. But I do like him so I want you to at least give him a chance. Okay?”

“If he comes over, we get ice cream,” Andrew said.

“I can’t get ice cream for Saturday,” Nicky said. “But I get paid next week and when I do, you can pick out whatever kind of ice cream you want from the store. It doesn’t even have to be the fake kind. You can get the real M&M one if you want? Okay?”

Andrew was silent for so long that Nicky thought he wasn’t even going to dignify his offer with a response. Aaron didn’t speak a word either, but he was probably waiting to agree with whatever Andrew said.

“Okay,” Andrew said. “Real M&M ice cream next week or you can’t ever bring him around again.”

“And Oreos,” Aaron added.

“You’re already getting the good ice cream,” Nicky said. “Do you really need Oreos too? Can we at least get the fake kind?”

“Real Oreos,” Aaron said.

“Double stuffed,” Andrew added.

The twins were far too good at negotiating for their age.

“Fine,” Nicky said. “Real M&M ice cream and double stuffed Oreos next week _if_ you give Erik a chance on Saturday. But that’s all you’re getting. Do we have a deal?”

“Yes.”

* * *

Friday, Erik called Nicky a while after he got home from work. He wanted to catch Nicky before he’d have to leave for the bar and Nicky would have to leave for work.

Erik heard a click and the ringing stopped, but no one spoke again.

“Hello?” Erik said, but there was still nothing. “Nicky are you there? …Andrew? Is that you?”

He waited a few seconds and heard no response, but he also didn’t hear a tone telling him that whoever was on Nicky’s phone had hung up.

“Nicky told me sometimes you borrow his phone,” Erik said. “I don’t know if you’re listening or if you just answered the phone and left it somewhere, but I’m going to assume you are and talk to you, even if you don’t say anything.”

Andrew still said nothing, but he didn’t hang up either.

“I’m Erik. Nicky says he told you and your brother that we’ve gone on a few dates together,” he said. “And that I’m coming for dinner tomorrow. I hear we’re having Kraft Dinner.”

He had expected Andrew to hang up when he started talking and he wasn’t sure if this was a good sign or if Andrew just wasn’t holding Nicky’s phone anymore.

“I don’t have a brother, but I do have a sister,” Erik said. “Her name is Mia and she’s a year older than me. She lives in Germany with the rest of my family. That’s where I lived until I moved to America back in March. Do you know where Germany is? It’s a country on the other side of the ocean. I had to take a plane to get here. It took ten hours.”

* * *

Nicky walked into the twins’ room to check on Andrew and found him sitting on the floor with Nicky’s phone to his ear.

“So that’s where my phone went,” Nicky said. “It’s almost time to go. Get the stuff you want to take to Wymack’s ready.”

Andrew blinked up at him for a moment and then handed Nicky his phone back. Nicky could hear a faint voice and when he looked down at the screen, he saw that a call with Erik had been going on for almost fifteen minutes.

“Erik?” Nicky asked when he put the phone to his ear. “Have you been talking to Andrew?”

“I’ve been talking,” Erik said. “I don’t know if he’s been listening.”

“He was,” Nicky said as he watched Andrew pack his backpack up his toy cars. Were you really talking to him for fifteen minutes?”

“Sorry,” Erik said. “I probably shouldn’t have talked to him without you. I just called you to try to catch you before you'd have to leave and you said Andrew was the one who answered last time when no one said anything, so I figured I’d talk until he hung up. But then he didn’t, so I kept going.”

“It’s fine,” Nicky said. It must not have gone too horribly if Andrew was listening calmly. “I’m just surprised.”

* * *

Saturday, when Erik showed up at Nicky’s apartment, Nicky blocked the door and glanced behind him to make sure the twins were out of earshot.

“Do you remember everything?” Nicky asked.

“Andrew has long-sleeves. Aaron has short sleeves,” Erik said. “Don’t call them cute. Give Andrew space if he gets upset.”

“And don’t say please,” Nicky added, then moved out of the way to let him in.

Nicky was a little nervous about Erik seeing his apartment for the first time, but not nearly as nervous as he was about Erik and the twins meeting each other.

He led him into the living room where Aaron was sitting on the couch with a book while Andrew sat on the floor with a few of his toy cars.

“This is Erik,” Nicky introduced as they glanced over at him. He gestured over to the couch and then the floor as he said, “And this is Aaron and Andrew.”

“I met you on Skype,” Erik said to Aaron.

Aaron watched him but said nothing.

“And I’ve talked to you on the phone before,” he said to Andrew.

Neither seemed impressed that he remembered. They just stared at him.

"Come sit down," Nicky said as he grabbed Erik's hand and led him to the couch.

* * *

When Nicky left to check on dinner a few minutes later, Aaron got up and left the room immediately with a mumbled, “I have to go to the bathroom.”

Erik was left with just Andrew then and he knew that Andrew was the one Nicky thought would be more of a challenge for him to win over. Andrew was sitting on the floor, playing with a toy car and staring down at it instead of acknowledging Erik’s existence.

“You like cars?” Erik tried.

Andrew didn’t so much as glance up at him, so Erik headed got up from the couch and headed over to crouch beside him. Andrew still didn’t look at him, but his body went tense like he was annoyed by Erik’s presence.

“Is that a Maserati?” He asked. “That’s a pretty nice car.”

Andrew ignored him and looked in the direction of the kitchen like he was waiting for Nicky to come back and save him from this conversation.

“Is that the kind of car you want someday?” Erik asked.

Andrew looked over Erik’s shoulder at something and a moment later, Erik felt Aaron tugging on his shoulder.

“Go away,” Aaron said. “He doesn’t like you.”

“I-” Erik started, but then Aaron bit him in the arm.

* * *

“Let go,” Erik’s voice echoed in from the living room. “Pl- Stop.”

Nicky rushed from the kitchen and found Aaron with his teeth sunk in Erik’s forearm and his arms wrapped around Erik’s so that when Erik tried to pull his arm away, he just lifted Aaron off of the ground.

“Aaron,” Nicky said as he rushed over. “Stop biting him. We don’t bite guests.”

Nicky grabbed Aaron and was relieved when he let go of Erik.

“What is going on?” Nicky asked as he set Aaron down on the floor and crouched down at his level. “You don’t bite people.”

Aaron said nothing, but he glanced over at Andrew. Nicky turned his attention to Andrew, but Andrew said nothing and stared at him defiantly.

Nicky turned around and looked at Erik apologetically as he said, “Shit, I am so sorry.”

“I don’t like that word,” Andrew said.

“Sorry,” Nicky said again and Andrew flinched. “Both of you forget I swore in front of you.”

“Not that word,” Andrew said. “The other one.”

“So-” Nicky started to ask but stopped when Andrew glared. “Okay, I won’t use it anymore.”

A horrifying burning smell came from the kitchen and suddenly, Nicky remembered the dinner he had abandoned at the sound of the commotion. This time, he swore in Spanish so the twins wouldn’t understand him as he rushed back into the kitchen.

Dinner was completely ruined. The Kraft Dinner was burnt to the pot. Nicky was trying to scrape it out when Erik walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around Nicky’s waist.

“This is all going wrong,” Nicky grumbled, half to himself. “They won’t even talk to you and Aaron's biting you and I can’t even make you Kraft Dinner without ruining it when I was supposed to be making up for you buying me lunch and I can’t get it out of this stupid pot.”

Erik pulled Nicky’s back against his chest. “Hey, I am okay. Stop beating yourself up. I can handle a bite.”

“What happened?” Nicky asked with a sigh as he leaned into Erik's chest, letting him support his weight. “Before he bit you?”

“I don’t know,” Erik said. “Aaron went to the bathroom. I crouched down to try to talk to Andrew and see what he was playing with. I tried talking to him about cars but he ignored me, and then Aaron came back and told me Andrew didn't like me. And then he bit my arm.”

Nicky remembered the way that Aaron had looked at Andrew when asked what had happened. He still didn’t understand why Aaron had bit Erik for Andrew, but he believed Erik.

“We can’t eat this,” Nicky grumbled as he scraped harder at the burnt cheese that wasn’t budging.

“I’ll order a pizza,” Erik said. “Kids love pizza, right? Maybe, it will help get me on their good side.”

Nicky relaxed a little against Erik’s chest. “Yeah, okay. They do like pizza. Thank you.”

Erik kissed the top of Nicky's head. “It’s not a big deal. What kind do they like?”

"Meat lovers."

* * *

“I’m hungry,” Andrew complained when Nicky returned to the living room, although Aaron was the one clutching his stomach.

“Change of plans,” Nicky said. “Erik’s ordering a pizza so it’s going to be a little while still.”

“Pizza?” Aaron asked.

They were both staring at Nicky like he’d said they were allowed to eat nothing but chocolate for the rest of the day.

“Erik’s buying it for us,” Nicky said. “Isn’t that nice?”

“How long until it gets here?” Andrew asked, blatantly ignoring Nicky's question.

“What kind?” Aaron asked.

"Meat lovers," Nicky said.

It didn’t look like Erik would win them over at all by buying pizza after all.

* * *

The twins didn’t speak a word to Erik in the fifteen minutes it took for the pizza to come. They sat on the floor together with their toys and ignored him. The only sign Erik saw that they even remembered he was there was that he occasionally caught them glancing at him when they thought he wasn’t looking.

Nicky, on the other hand, spent almost the entire fifteen minutes trying to convince the twins to talk to him and talking about them to fill the silence when they wouldn’t.

“Hey, Aaron,” Nicky said. “Why don’t you show Erik your rock collection?”

“No,” Aaron said without looking up.

“Are you sure?” Nicky asked. “I bet he’d think it’s really cool. He likes outdoor stuff too.”

“That’s true,” Erik said. “I used to collect bird feathers when I was a kid.”

“He’s not allowed in our room,” Andrew said. “You said we had to give him a chance, you didn’t say we had to let him in our room.”

“I’m not trying to go in your room,” Erik told him. "I promise."

Andrew said nothing.

“I don’t want to show him my rocks anyway,” Aaron said. “I don’t want him touching them.”

Erik was relieved when the doorbell rang and he had an excuse to get up to pay for the pizza.

“Come on,” Nicky told the twins as he got up. “Go wash your hands or you’re not getting any.”

Erik paid for the pizza and brought it into the kitchen, then washed his hands so no one could call him on not following the rules.

By the time he sat down at the table, the twins were on one side and Nicky was on the other. Erik sat down in the empty seat next to Nicky and across from Andrew, who stared at the pizza instead of making eye contact with him.

“I want five,” Andrew said. The pizza was cut into smaller square slices but that still seemed like a lot of food for such a tiny six-year-old.

“You can start with two,” Nicky said.

“I want five,” Andrew repeated.

“You can have five if you can eat that much, but start with two,” Nicky said.

“Not that one,” Andrew said as Nicky lifted up a slice. “No crust.”

“I want crust,” Aaron said, but when Nicky tried to give him the slice instead, he added, “I want corners.”

Nicky set the piece with too much crust for Andrew and not enough for Aaron on his own plate and tried again.

“How many do you want?” He asked Aaron after giving Andrew two pieces without any crust.

“Five,” Aaron said. “But only corners.”

“There are only four corners, bud,” Nicky said. “And you start with two.”

“Don't give him the corners,” Aaron warned.

“I’m not giving them away, just eat these ones first,” Nicky said, then he turned his attention to Erik. “How about you? Crust or no crust?”

“Crust,” Erik said and Aaron frowned at him. “But no corners.”

Nicky gave himself and Erik each two pieces. Erik knew he was going to eat more than that, but he figured they had to start at two too to keep the twins from getting upset.

The twins didn’t talk while they ate, but they seemed to be in a slightly better mood during dinner. Andrew inhaled his pizza like he thought if he didn’t eat fast enough, someone would take it away, and ended up with sauce all over his face. Aaron ate more carefully, but that also made him a slow eater.

“I heard you like dogs,” Erik said to Aaron when he was finished eating. “I have a German shepherd named Rocko. Want to see a picture?”

For the first time since Erik had shown up, Aaron looked interested in something he said and nodded his head hesitantly.

Erik pulled up a picture on his phone and passed it across the table to Aaron.

“Can we meet him?” Aaron asked.

Erik glanced over at Nicky for help before he responded, “I don’t know. Maybe someday.”

“I like cats,” Andrew said. He got up from the table as he added, “Neil has a cat.”

With that, he walked out of the kitchen and Aaron got up quickly to follow him, leaving Erik’s phone still on the table.

“Who is Neil?” Erik asked once they were gone.

“His friend from daycare,” Nicky said as he got up and started clearing dishes from the table. Erik closed up the pizza box and took it over to the fridge, but Nicky insisted, “Take it home. You paid for it.”

“I don’t need this much leftover pizza,” Erik said. “It’ll just go to waste.”

“Take some at least,” Nicky said, so Erik found a container to stick the leftovers in for Nicky and left a couple of slices in the box for himself.

“Can I help with dishes?” Erik asked.

“Are you trying to help or trying to avoid getting bitten again?” Nicky asked, then he glanced in the direction of the door before he added, “Sorry about that.”

“I think I’ll survive it,” Erik said. “I’m tougher than I look.”

“You look pretty tough already,” Nicky said. “And you can dry dishes if you really want to help.”

* * *

When they finished with the dishes, they went back into the living room.

“Erik has to go now, say bye to him,” Nicky tried.

Andrew said nothing and didn’t even glance in his direction. Aaron looked but didn’t even mutter a half-hearted goodbye. Nicky shouldn’t have been surprised.

“Alright, then go grab your stuff to take to Wymack’s while _I_ say goodbye to Erik,” Nicky told the twins.

Erik watched the twins go, then turned to Nicky and asked, “So, did I pass or is this goodbye a _goodbye_?”

Nicky sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I need to think about it and see how they are when you’re gone. I really don’t want this to be goodbye, but I don’t know.”

Nicky hated the look on Erik’s face. He hated that he still had no idea if the twins could handle him dating Erik or not.

He took a step closer to Erik and kissed him, hoping it would not be a last kiss goodbye.

“I’ll call you when I figure it out, okay?”

* * *

When Nicky made it back to the car after dropping the twins off, he dialed Bee’s number before pulling out of the parking lot. She picked up on the third ring.

“Hello,” she said. “Is something going on with Andrew?”

“No,” Nicky said. “No crisis. Sorry, I probably shouldn’t have called. I’m just confused and you’re a lot better at knowing what’s best for him than I am.”

“It’s fine,” Bee said. “I take it they met Erik?”

“Yes,” Nicky said. “And I don’t know what to think about how it went. I like Erik so much, but I can’t just date him and not care what the twins think of him. And, I don’t know, some of the night was alright, but Andrew barely spoke all night and Aaron bit him. And they’ve been through so much. And I’ve heard about the kind of men Tilda used to bring home around Aaron and I just don’t know what to do.”

“How was he around the twins?” Bee asked. “Was he trying to get along with them? Was he kind to them or were there warning signs that he would them badly?”

“No,” Nicky said. “No warning signs. He was great. He was trying so hard. I’m just not sure it mattered to the twins.”

“You said there were no crises,” Bee pointed out. “He treated them well. That’s already a step well above how dinner with your parents went. It sounds like it could have gone a lot worse.”

“Could have gone worse doesn’t mean that they like him,” Nicky said.

“It is normal for kids not to like it when their parents start dating,” she told him. “You can’t expect them to like him right away.”

“But they’ve been through so much shit,” Nicky said. “I don’t want to start bringing guys they don’t like around.”

“If you wait to find someone they like and trust the first time they meet him, you will never let yourself be with anyone,” she pointed out. “What they want matters, but what you want does too. Sometimes, you need to have something for yourself, Nicky. They have a lot of reasons not to trust adults. They aren’t going to warm up fast, but the meeting wasn’t a disaster. That is a good sign. It’s your decision, but if you want my advice, don’t throw away something good because you are afraid to live for yourself too.”

“See, this is why I called you,” Nicky said. “You’re so much smarter than I am.”

“You are smart too, Nicky,” she said. “And you don’t need to feel guilty about putting yourself first every once in a while.”

“Thanks, Bee,” he said.

“Any time.”

When Nicky pulled into the parking lot at work, he sent Erik a quick text.

_can i call u on my break?_

* * *

Erik had been waiting for his phone to ring ever since he had gotten Nicky’s text. He was terrified that Nicky was going to call him to end things and the fact that Nicky had sent only one text did nothing to soothe Erik’s nerves.

He tried to distract himself by reading a book, but his brain kept getting distracted thinking about Nicky’s impending call so, eventually, he turned on the TV and settled for half-watching some cop drama.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when his phone finally rang.

“Hello,” he answered with his heart beating too hard.

“Hey,” Nicky said. “Sorry, I know it’s late and I only have a few minutes, but I didn’t want to leave things how we did.”

“I don’t mind late,” Erik said. “I’d rather know than wonder all night.”

“Be honest,” Nicky said. “Did the twins scare you off? ...Do you hate them and not want to be around them anymore?”

“No,” Erik said. “I’m not looking for an excuse to turn and run. I don’t hate them... I’m not sure they like me much though. They didn’t seem at all interested in anything I had to say and I could have done without the biting, but I don’t know them very well. I don’t have a problem with them though. I think I could handle trying to get to know them better if you think they could handle trying to get to know me.”

Nicky was silent for a horrible moment.

“Is this the part where you tell me that you do not think that is a good idea?” Erik asked. “And that you cannot see me anymore?”

“Do you still want to be my boyfriend?” Nicky asked. “Even after a glimpse at what life with two six-year-olds is like?”

“Absolutely,” Erik said. “Does this mean that you want to be mine now?”

“I’ve wanted to be your boyfriend since I met you,” Nicky insisted and Erik let out a laugh. “I mean, yes, it’s going to take some work getting the twins used to you. And I kind of told Aaron there wouldn’t be any sleepovers anytime soon because his mom used to bring guys she got drugs off of home and his first question when I told him about you was if you were going to be sleeping over now, but I do want to be your boyfriend and I want to figure this out with you.”

“You have no idea how relieved I am right now,” Erik said. “I was convinced you were going to call to end things. Do you know how nerve-wracking it is when you send just one we need to talk text when you have never sent me just one text before ever?”

“I had to go to work,” Nicky said. “I was trying not to freak you out more with a bunch of texts before I disappeared. Next time I’ll send you one word per text. Better?”

“Perfect,” Erik said with a chuckle.

“I have to go back inside,” Nicky sighed. “But I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Good night, boyfriend.”

"Good night."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N: Fun fact! Neil absolutely does not have a cat. That is just a lie he told Andrew.**
> 
> **Also, I have extras written from other characters' points of view. This fic is part 1 of a series called Fox Daycares & Extras. Part 2 (Fox Daycare Extras) has all the extras I've posted so far with author's notes letting you know when they're set. Future extras will also be posted as updates to that story.**


End file.
